


Lost in Space

by wayward_stranger



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AI!Kuroo, Aged-Up Characters, Angst, Artificial Intelligence, Artist!Hinata, Fluff, Haikyuu!! Big Bang 2020, M/M, Playtester!Kenma, Relationship Problems, Sad Ending, aro/ace kenma, kind of based on the movie 'Her', kind of coming of age in a way?, kuroo is an AI and i think that makes it angsty, problems of growing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29955450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_stranger/pseuds/wayward_stranger
Summary: Kenma knows that he’s not completely okay with his life and himself. Aside from his complicated feelings towards relationships and the fact that he isn’t where he wanted to be with his job, he feels as if he’s somehow ‘left behind’ by the world and alone to float throughout his life. That is, until he encounters a new task with his beta-testing job: conversing with an emotionally intelligent AI named Kuroo. Despite the fact that he’s made up of one’s and zero’s, Kenma finds himself relating to Kuroo in a way that he never felt with other people and taking steps in his life that he thought he wouldn’t be able to take. All the while, remembering that Kuroo is supposed to be just an AI.(entry for the Haikyuu!! Big Bang 2020)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to the first chapter of this fic !! this is my first time joining a writing event and it's for HQ BB so the chapters are going to be released pretty much all at once. i've actually had this idea for years but never finished writing it until now so i hope you guys enjoy !!
> 
> also thank you so much to my beta-tester @bigbadw0lf and artist @qlerodendrum for this event

Even with his headphones blasting music, Kenma could still hear the clacking of his fingers against his own keyboard. Most probably it was because he was always in front of the computer, whether clicking on a keyboard to type up his reports or beta-testing a game (which he enjoyed much more). 

_‘Just a few more,’_ he pushed himself, typing up the final paragraph of his very long, very detailed report on the RPG he had been beta-testing for the past two weeks.

 _‘Done,’_ Kenma sighed, scrolling through the document before pressing ‘Print’. He stretched his arms in the air while the shitty printer that was assigned to his cubicle shuddered to life. Kenma took the small break to look around at the rest of the office from the gaps of his cubicle although there wasn’t much to see: just cubicle after cubicle and even more cubicle. Kenma imagined himself as a worker bee in a humongous beehive before realizing that his report was all printed out.

Soon enough, he was sitting in front of his boss’s desk, looking down at his fingers and trying to tune out the sound of Akaashi flipping through the pages of his report. Even though Kenma had submitted a million reports ever since he joined CloudNine, the game development company, three years ago, he’d still worry about one misstep causing him to lose his job.

“Good work, Kozume-san,” Akaashi finally spoke. Kenma let out a small sigh of relief. “I’ll bring this up with the developers.”

“Thank you.,” Kenma bowed his head slightly. “Any… other things for me to take care of?” he asked slowly. After being in the company for a while, he had realized that asking if there was more work was bound to get you on the good side of the higher-ups. Akaashi opened the leatherbound planner that he always kept on his desk.

“Now that you mention it, there is quite an interesting project that’s underway in one of the departments,” Akaashi mused. Despite how ambivalent Kenma felt about his job, he did like the Beta-Testing Department Head, Akaashi Keiji. He always talked in a calm, even tone and was never condescending, nor did he try to ask about Kenma’s personal life, which was marvelous for him. Akaashi continued, “It’s supposed to be one of those dating-simulation games.” 

“I see.,” Kenma nodded. He play-tested more than enough of them to be familiar with the motions. It was one of the easier games to play-test since he simply went through different routes, trying out all the choices. Although, it was the most boring kind of game to play-test; the stories were always too simple, too formulaic, and Kenma just wasn’t that into dating.

“It’s quite the innovative one, though,” Akaashi said, his eyes flickering up to meet Kenma’s,. “Apparently, they’re trying to make it more of an immersive experience. It won’t exactly be like how you’d play your usual games.”

“In what way?” Kenma’s ears perked up at Akaashi’s description. Nowadays, he rarely came across a game he was excited to play-test, much less a dating-simulation one.

“They’ve created their own AI program that’s meant to communicate with the player through call and messaging options,” Akaashi explained,. “I’ve heard the objective of the game is to be played through a mobile app and for it to simulate actual communication with another human.”

“That is ground-breaking, in a sense,” Kenma admitted. “If they successfully pull-off that AI program, it’s going to generate a new wave of not only dating-simulation games but other role-playing games too. A game that doesn’t entirely rely on graphics.”

“Exactly. I can tell you’re quite excited too!,” Akaashi let out a small chuckle. Kenma felt his face flush slightly in embarrassment. “I think you’d find this project right up your alley, Kozume-san, and your work is always excellent. I think you deserve to take on this project.”

“Thank you,” was all Kenma could think of saying.

Akaashi put up his finger, making him stop in his motions. “Now, the only thing is that a copy of the AI program is upstairs with the Emerging Projects Head,” Akaashi said, “It’s with Bokuto-san.” Kenma could practically feel the exasperation in Akaashi’s voice. 

Bokuto Koutarou was one of the department heads at CloudNine who was notoriously very different from Akaashi in both personality and work ethic. It wasn’t that Bokuto was a bad person, but Kenma didn’t like the way he’d always ask personal questions whenever he had to pick up a game from him.

And that was exactly what happened. The fact that it was a Friday night and Kenma was itching to go home didn’t make the whole ordeal of dodging Bokuto’s questions while he waved the USB around in his hand any better. Finally, the USB was pressed into Kenma’s hand with some parting words of advice.– “You can install the software on your laptop but it’s much better to communicate from your phone, although you can sync both devices anyway” – and then he was free to go home.

On the train ride home, Kenma idly played one of the many games he had, swiping his phone at any of the notifications that appeared from his social media accounts. Although he disliked having social media and only used one platform and another one specifically for messaging people, he kept it for the sake of his parents’ ease of mind while he worked in a city far away from their home. Kenma barely checked his notifications and reserved his time only for the people that he did want to contact.

At home, he quickly made himself a bowl of instant ramen that he had gotten at the convenience store, and switched on his laptop. While his ramen cooled, Kenma installed the AI program from the USB Bokuto gave him. For the first time in a while, he was excited to play-test something. After a few minutes, the software was installed and a bright, blue comet icon with the name ‘Star-Crossed’ appeared on his computer desktop. ‘Must be the name of the game,’ Kenma realized as he clicked it. A window opened, much similar to how the interphase of messaging software looked, and he clicked the ‘Call’ option.

There was a ringing. And then, a voice. 

_“Hello?”_

“H-hello,” Kenma stammered, looking over the file that Bokuto handed to him along with the USB. 

The AI hadn’t been programmed with the game’s story yet, since the company wanted to develop it first before using it for future dating-simulators. Instead, what had been developed was an AI software with emotional intelligence similar to that of a human. Written on the file was Kenma’s main objective: to see if emotional intelligence and communication aspects of the AI could be used for the game. It was going to be a long play-testing project, but Kenma was more than up for it.

 _“Hi there!”_ the voice responded. It sounded like it belonged to a male. Something told him it was one in his early twenties, around Kenma’s age most likely. If he was going to be extra descriptive, he’d say the voice sounded like it belonged to the kind of guy who considered jogging as fun. His eyebrows furrowed. _“So, you must be the beta-tester, huh?”_

“That’s me,” Kenma nodded, feeling just a bit uneasy that the AI was self-aware. Well, they kind of had to have that degree of self-awareness for it to work in a game where they’d be responding to a player. According to the file, the AI went through a round of primary beta-testing among the coders before reaching Kenma.

 _“Guess I’m reaching the big leagues!”_ the voice said enthusiastically. The cheerful sound of his voice was so infectious that it made Kenma crack a small smile as he took note of it. _“By the way, what’s your name mister, or miss, beta-tester?”_

“Kozume Kenma,” he introduced himself. “Or just, Kenma.”

_“Okay, just Kenma. Nice to meet you.”_

“Do you have a name for me to refer to you with?” he asked, tilting his head. “Or, do I just call you AI?”

_The response is immediate. “Well, one of the coders called me Kuroo, after his pet cat.”_

“Kuroo,” Kenma repeated and wrote the name down.

 _“I think Kuroo Tetsurou has a nice ring to it,”_ the AI, Kuroo Tetsurou, continued. Kenma blinked in slight surprise before adding ‘Tetsurou’ down.

“Alright, Kuroo Tetsurou,” Kenma said. “It’s good I guess that you know what you are.”

 _“Yeah, I mean, it would save us from the whole ‘who am I? what’s my purpose?’ moment,”_ Kuroo added. 

Kenma cracked a smile.

“Did they program you with pop culture references too?”

_“Just enough for me to be engaging.”_

“Right. Well, so the way we’ll proceed with this is I’ll be engaging you in some normal conversation, some over the call feature and some over the messaging feature. And from the interactions we have, I’ll determine if you’re a good fit for the game they’ll be developing,” Kenma explained.

 _“Sounds good to me,”_ Kuroo replied. _“So… what kind of person are you, Kenma?”_

“Me?” Kenma was slightly taken aback by the question before remembering that he’d have to do a lot of conversation-making for this play-test. Based on that alone, this might be the hardest play-test he’d have to go through… But he sighed and decided to go with it. What was Kuroo going to talk about when it came to himself anyway?

“Well, I like games? But you could figure out that much I bet.”

 _“What kinds of games?”_ Kuroo asked.

“All sorts, I guess,” Kenma shrugged,. “Mostly adventure-type ones with a clear storyline and I guess sci-fi genre ones.”

_“What else?”_

Kenma blinked wearily and looked down to realize that his ramen had gone cold; he had only finished half of it. “You know what? How about you try figuring out what person I am? I mean, it should be able to fit in with the programming that you have.”

 _“Hmmm, a challenge, huh?”_ Kuroo hummed. _“Okay, I accept. Judging by your tone of voice and how you speak, I get the feeling that you’re pretty laid-back and casual. Not the type to go out of their way to do something they don’t particularly need to do. Also, tell me if I’m wrong or if this sounds utterly random but… you don’t happen to be a cat person, do you?”_

Kenma didn’t know if he should be impressed or slightly irritated that his voice instantly gave away his personality. “I’m impressed,” he decided to say. “AI really is super-advanced these days.”

 _“Thanks! You can thank my programmer.,”_ Kuroo’s voice was cheerful.

“Do you have any… favorite things or things you want to do, I guess?’’ Kenma asked, “Or are you programmed to not really have those preferences?”

 _“It’s a bit hard to explain but, for the purpose of giving my best, I’ve been programmed with more of an awareness to certain things over other things. As an example, I have quite a bit of knowledge of science fiction movies and books, as well as people skills, compared to how much knowledge I have on, let’s say, English literature,”_ Kuroo explained, _“So, in a way, I guess I have those ‘preferences.’”_

“Interesting.” Kenma nodded. “I guess they created you to be the nerdy type of guy.”

 _“Guess so,”_ Kuroo laughed. _“I think we’ll get along then, Kenma.”_

“So, what happens when I end this call? Do you just, go to sleep or lose awareness or consciousness?” Kenma asked.

 _“Not exactly. Time, passes differently for me. It’s quite fast, compared to your sense of time, but it passes long enough for me to realize time has passed,”_ Kuroo explained. _“Sorry, that sounds really vague. But anyway, just imagine that I’m chilling inside of a little room, and the moment you call or message me, the door to that room opens.”_

“I think I can go with that,” Kenma said, voice low. “Well, I guess this is enough for now.”

 _“You truly are an introverted person,”_ Kuroo teased. _“Come on, aren’t you more excited that you’re talking to an AI?”_

“Excited enough for me to go to bed,” Kenma deadpanned.

 _“Ah, right, sleep. The most important thing for humans to live,”_ Kuroo said, _“I guess I can’t blame you then. Good night, Kenma.”_

“Good night, Kuroo,” Kenma said before hanging the call. With a sigh, he leaned back in his chair. He didn’t really start his day knowing that he’d have to play-test an amazingly programmed AI, but that’s how he was ending it. And although Kenma was extremely excited about this, his brain just wasn’t running on enough energy for him to throw himself into the play-testing. Before going to sleep at a very late hour that night, Kenma synced the software with his phone and opened the application. One of the other options available to him was being able to change the AI’s name, kind of like creating a contact name. 

Kenma deleted the previous name ‘AI_Ver. 2.5_” and changed it to ‘Kuroo Tetsurou.’

…

Kenma was only partially right in predicting that this was going to be one of the hardest play-tests he’d have to do because the main part of his job was holding conversations. What he didn’t fully expect was that Kuroo Tetsurou was also programmed with a whole lot of initiative. ‘Initiative’ was putting it lightly though, and the exact same word that Kenma used to write his daily reports. What he really wanted to say was ‘borderline annoying.’

Kuroo texted him endlessly, no matter if Kenma was asleep or at work. The notifications on his phone were constantly going off and whenever Kenma would check, he’d find more than twenty messages just from Kuroo. The AI also had the ‘initiative’ to call Kenma daily. Part of his job, admittedly, was engaging in phone conversations every day, but not several times a day. Kuroo was excited about the world around him, probably even more excited about the fact that he had someone to talk to, Kenma understood that much. 

But, he also kind of wanted to get through a day without having to check his messages each hour.

“Hello?” Kenma sighed, answering his ringing phone during lunch break. Luckily, his usual spot, the building rooftop, was empty, so he could talk without fear of anyone hearing.

 _“Hey, Kenma!’’_ Kuroo instantly greeted _, “What are you doing? I sure hope that includes eating lunch,”_ He always sounded as if he had two cups of coffee every morning.

“Yep, you’re right about that,” Kenma answered, hoping that Kuroo would take the hint and leave him to eat his convenience store-bought lunch in peace. Maybe it was something for him to take note of in his report.

 _“Cool! What are you eating?”_ Kuroo’s question made Kenma sigh again, knowing that he was hoping for a bit too much.

“This egg salad sandwich that I bought at the convenience store. And a can of Dr. Pepper,” Kenma answered, leaning back against the wall. He resigned himself to the fate of his lunch break interrupted for the fourth time that week.

 _“Is it just me and my amazing attention to detail or, are you always eating store-bought food?”_ Kuroo said, his tone switching to something that resembled a doting mother.

“That’s because I’m always eating store-bought food,” Kenma said, with every bit of sass he could muster.

_“That’s not entirely healthy for you, you know? Convenience store foods may have been revolutionized and innovated over time but they’re still full of preservatives. Not to mention that it’s just much healthier for you to cook your own food. You know, there’s this website called—”_

“Not interested, sorry.,” Kenma cut him off and winced when he realized that Kuroo was just trying to help. “It’s not really so much that I haven’t thought of cooking for myself, it’s that I don’t really know how to nor do I particularly care how healthy I am.”

Kuroo hummed. _“Maybe I could talk to the developers about installing a feature where I could get to cook for you.”_

“Yeah? Like, maybe they’ll make you a robot body or something?” Kenma said sarcastically.

_“Right! You know, arms and everything! And whenever you text or call about being hungry, I’ll just come over to your kitchen and cook something.”_

“I think that advancement is more for a different sort of company…”

 _“I know, just wanted to entertain the thought. Would be cool though,”_ Kuroo said nonchalantly.

“I think it’s a recipe for disaster,” Kenma said honestly. “I mean, that’s exactly how those sci-fi, horror movies with robots begin. First thing you’ll be making scrambled eggs in the kitchen and when I say that they don’t taste good you’ll be holding a knife to my face.”

Kuroo laughed. It sounded so natural and genuine that Kenma almost forgot that he was talking to an AI. _“I think you watch too many movies Kenma.”_

Kenma cracked a smile before hearing the ping of a notification which he immediately checked. He had notifications muted on most of his contacts, except for a select few who were very important: his boss, Akaashi, his mother, and his best friend, Shouyou. The message, surprisingly, was from the latter.

 _“Hey, did you just disappear?”_ Kuroo asked after Kenma had fallen silent from reading the text.

“Oh, no. Sorry,” he apologized. “I just got a text from someone.”

 _“You have_ other _people texting you?”_

“I do. Shut, up Kuroo.”

 _“Shutting up.,”_ Kuroo snickered again before proceeding to not shut up. _“Who’s it from?”_

“Shouyou, one of my friends. My best friend, actually,’’ Kenma corrected,. “We’ve known each other since high school and went to university together.”

_“Sounds like a really good friend.”_

Kenma nodded, looking at the text sent to him: 

_Shouyou [17:00]: Hey, tobio and i r in d area this friday. wanna get lunch?_

_“Let me guess, he asked if you wanted to get together?”_ Kuroo said. If he had a face, he’d probably have a smug grin on.

Kenma felt curious. “How did you know?”

_“Because you don’t seem like the type who particularly likes to go outside. Also, you went silent meaning you’re contemplating something.”_

“Fair enough,” Kenma sighed.

 _“You should go, by the way. To the lunch,”_ Kuroo continued. _“I mean, it sounds like he means a lot to you and I also get the feeling that you haven’t seen each other in a while, am I wrong?”_

“…No.,” Kenma shook his head slightly, feeling a bit weird that he was getting advice from the exact AI he was supposed to be play-testing. “I guess, I can make some time.”

 _“Maybe you can introduce me,”_ Kuroo jokingly suggested.

“How?” Kenma snorted. “‘’Hey, Shouyou. How have you been? By the way, here’s Kuroo Tetsurou, an AI installed in my phone, who’s supposed to have the emotional intelligence of a human.’”

 _“‘Pleased to meet you,’”_ Kuroo added, mimicking a robotic voice. Kenma found himself chuckling and realized that he hadn’t laughed during a conversation with someone in a while. It was usually Shouyou who managed to make him laugh.

“‘Can’t believe I’m getting advice from a robot,’’ Kenma huffed but smiled to himself nonetheless as he typed out a quick reply to Shouyou, saying that he was going to be at the lunch.

 _“You said yes, didn’t you?”_ Kuroo spoke during the silence.

“Once again, you’re right,” Kenma sighed. “I bet you’re happy.”

 _“I think I’ve been passing your play-test with flying colors lately,”_ Kuroo hummed. Kenma smiled, knowing that he was right.

…

Shouyou was almost always late during their meet-ups, not that Kenma minded. He found it quite nice, actually, that there was something about his friend that hadn’t quite changed. After all, Shouyou was almost unrecognizable with his new, larger, build thanks to the time he spent in gyms recently. 

As soon as Kenma saw the familiar streak of bright, red hair, he was struck with the unfamiliar part of him. Seeing Shouyou now made the Shouyou from their university days – skinny, bordering on the scrawny side, almost always sleep-deprived from working on his art, and almost always hungry – seem like a very far memory.

“Kenma! You came!” His best friend grinned, jogging up to him.

“Of course. New exhibit, right?” Kenma smiled at him.

“Yeah! I still can’t _believe_ this is happening. When I went to the gallery, I was so sure that they were going to kick me out or say that they actually meant to ask another artist that was also Hinata Shouyou!” his friend said, quickly and in a single breath. “But it was me they were looking for and it went great!”

“I’m glad.,” Kenma chuckled. “Anyway, where do you want to eat or hang out?”

“Oh, Tobio already got us a table in that diner we always wanted to check out.’’ Shouyou smiled. “It’s just a few blocks away.”

Kenma hesitated for a second before proceeding to follow his best friend. “…Alright.,” 

It wasn’t that he hated Kageyama Tobio, the guy who Shouyou had been dating ever since they were in university, but Kenma could barely remember a time when it was just him and his best friend hanging out. He was kind of hoping it would be just them today.

‘It’s fine. It’s going to be fine,’ Kenma shook himself out of the disappointment and followed Shouyou into a semi-crowded diner, straight towards a table where Kageyama was. Shouyou sat beside his boyfriend, across where Kenma was, and all of a sudden, he felt like a little kid eating with his parents.

“How was the exhibit set-up?” Kageyama asked Shouyou as soon as he sat down. “I already ordered for us by the way.”

“Cool! Thanks!” Shouyou grinned before going into how the exhibit set-up went. Kenma tried not to think about the fact that Kageyama just nodded at him when he sat down, the fact that Shouyou and Kageyama were so quick to lose themselves in their own conversations, the fact that even though Kenma knew he was invited and that Shouyou probably didn’t mean to, he still felt excluded.

“So, Kenma.” He almost perked up at the sound of Shouyou actually talking to him. “How’s work? You’re still at CloudFive right?”

“CloudNine,” Kenma corrected him. “And, yeah, play-testing games.”

“That’s cool!” Shouyou grinned. Kenma almost smiled at how familiar it was to hear his friend’s tendency to compliment everything he did. “How is it?”

“Been good.” Kenma nodded. “There’s actually a new project I’m working on with an AI—”

“Here’s your food.,”Awaitress came, interrupting them as she placed plates of food in front of them. Kenma couldn’t even remember what he ordered and stared at the plate of what looked to be fried rice in front of him. All of a sudden, he didn’t feel so hungry.

“Oh yeah, weren’t you planning to get into game design too?” Kageyama asked after the waitress left.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah,” Kenma murmured distractedly as he picked up his fork and poked at his rice. “I don’t know, I’m not sure if I really have the skills for it. Might just stick to play-testing for another year.” He dodged the question and instead, decided to ask, “What have you two been up to?” 

“Well! Tobio is already underway with setting up the training gym he’s been wanting to do.” Shouyou grinned proudly at his boyfriend. “We’re actually thinking of renting out the floor on top of the gym he’s setting up so we’re much closer to his work. Also, it has a great space to set up a studio!”

“That sounds great. You always wanted a studio.” Kenma smiled at him, remembering the days they spent in a tiny, dorm room and the smell of oil and turpentine that seemed to seep into the walls even after Hinata submitted his paintings.

“You know, sometimes I can’t believe how far we’ve come from dreaming about what we wanted to do in university.,” Shouyou smiled wistfully, glancing at Kageyama.

 _‘I’m afraid, that’s just you guys,’_ Kenma thought, stirring his fork in his rice which he still hadn’t eaten.

“So, on to the question I’ve been dying to ask!” Shouyou leaned over the table at him. “Meet anyone special yet?”

And that’s when Kenma felt a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach. He had been hoping that he wouldn’t have to hear this question at all today. It wasn’t true that he was disgusted at how couples acted or that he was bitter about not having a significant other. Rather, when Kenma watched couples interacting, like Shouyou and Kageyama, he was reminded again and again that something was missing, that he wasn’t a full person.

“Not really. Too much work, you know?” Kenma shrugged.

“Not even someone in your workplace?” Kageyama asked.

“Cubicles,” was all Kenma replied because he was growing increasingly more uncomfortable. He wanted to leave the dinner. He wanted to hyperventilate in a bathroom cubicle. He wanted to go home and lie down under the blankets. 

Coming here was a mistake.

And, as if the programming gods were watching him, Kenma’s phone buzzed and a text notification from Kuroo flashed on the screen. He had never been this relieved to see a text from the AI.

“Oh, um, my boss just texted,” Kenma cleared his throat, waving his phone in the air,. “Something, um, happened, down at the office. Paperwork stuff. I have to go.”

“Aw, really?” Shouyou pouted. “Can’t they leave it to another guy?” But Kenma was already standing up and leaving some money to pay for his uneaten food.

“Sorry, has to be me.” Kenma cut him off. With the last of his remaining strength and ability, he said, “Um, thanks for inviting me, by the way. You can have my food.”

And with that, he quickly left the diner before he could even give Shouyou and Kageyama achance to say goodbye. Kenma kept walking, quickly and with his head down, until he found himself in front of his apartment building. He didn’t stop moving until he was standing in front of his door, his hand shaking as he unlocked it with his key, before quickly shutting himself inside.

Kenma held his face in his hands, trying to ignore the deafening ‘why did you have to leave? You could have just stayed and pretended that everything was okay’ that his mind yelled at him. He hadn’t used to be so bothered by having to hang out with Kageyama and Shouyou, in fact, he was pretty cool with it. But as Kenma grew older, the more he realized that he might not be like other people.

…

Kuroo called a few times and texted more than a few times throughout the day. Kenma was aware of it, but he let his phone ring and made no effort to pick it up. He wasn’t sure if Shouyou called or texted to check on him but he didn’t want to know that either. Instead, Kenma fired up one of his favorite comfort games and played without any conception of the passing of time except for how the days passed in-game. While planting crops, doing quests down in the mines, and gifting fellow villagers, he felt a sense of peace and calm. Enough for him to fall asleep later that night without having to lie awake in bed for a few hours.

When he woke up the next morning, the first thing that Kenma was fully aware of was the fact that he was hungry. No, not just hungry: _starving._ He briefly remembered that he actually didn’t eat anything during lunch yesterday and the last thing he probably ate was a bowl of cereal for breakfast. 

Slowly, Kenma dragged himself out of bed and into the kitchen, which was thankfully very near him, since his apartment was rather tiny, and took out the carton of milk. He drank straight from the carton, feeling his stomach ache a bit less from the food, and sighed. 

‘Hopefully today isn’t going to be too bad,’ he thought.

After fixing himself another bowl of cereal, Kenma decided to scroll through the notifications on his phone. Some were messages from Shouyou, saying that they should hang out again, while most of the others were from Kuroo. A lot of his texts were the usual _‘hey, you better not be eating instant ramen for dinner,’ ‘helloo?? anyone home?’,_ and a _‘did you know that racecar is a palindrome?’_ that almost made Kenma crack a smile. The rest of the messages were _‘hey are you okay?’_ that made Kenma’s smile disappear. Kuroo really had a human-level of emotional intelligence, and the fact that an AI was showing him concern kind of made something in his chest ache.

And besides, Kenma still had a job to do.

“Hello?”

 _“Kenma! There you are!’’ Kuroo spoke quickly, “I thought you passed out in front of your computer or that that_ _Shouyou_ _guy was actually a part of the mafia and kidnapped you.”_

“That’s, pretty outlandish,” Kenma said slowly.

 _“So, how was the lunch thing yesterday? I’m assuming something not mafia-related happened,”_ Kuroo said, changing the topic. Kenma wondered if it was part of Kuroo’s programming to exhibit that kind of work.

Kenma hesitated for a moment before admitting,“It was not as fun as I hoped it would be.,” His voice was low as he said, “And, I felt a bit upset because of it.”

_“Hmm, judging by the tone in your voice as well as everything I know about you, I’m guessing it’s not a subject you want to breach further.”_

“You guessed right.”

 _“Why don’t we do something instead?”_ Kuroo suggested.

“Kuroo, I’m not, in the mood for a feelings-sharing kind of thing.,” Kenma sighed. “And if you don’t mind, I still just want to be by myself.”

 _“Oh, I was just going to suggest watching the cinematic masterpiece by Dreamworks Studios: ‘Megamind,’”_ Kuroo said quickly. _“But if you don’t want to, I completely understand—”_

“Wait, _Megamind’s_ their cinematic masterpiece?” Kenma quirked an eyebrow.

 _“What? Did I just hit a sore spot? You think it’s Shrek?”_ Kuroo said cockily.

“Of course it’s Shrek. You just can’t beat that ‘I Need A Hero’ scene.”

 _“That’s Shrek 2. And okay, fine, I guess it is a cinematic masterpiece too. But_ Megamind! _”_ Kuroo pressed.

“I don’t think I’ve ever watched it.,” Kenma found himself cracking a smile. The tension from yesterday was slowly leaving him and he felt calmer now than he had been earlier while playing games.

 _“That’s because Despicable Me launched that same year and stupid kids latched onto the Minions,”_ Kuroo said bitterly. _“But oh my god, please watch Megamind.”_

“Fine then,” Kenma sighed. “Only if we get to watch another underrated Dreamworks movie.”

_“I swear to god, if you say Shark Tale I’ll—”_

“I meant Over the Hedge. Fuck Shark Tale.”

 _“Fuck Shark Tale.”_ Kuroo chorused. Kenma thought that if Kuroo had a face, he would be smiling.

Kenma spent the next few minutes setting up his computer to play Megamind. Thanks to a ‘share your screen’ feature on Kuroo’s program, he would be able to watch with Kenma. While he was fixing things, Kuroo took the liberty of ordering food for Kenma. Apparently, it was from a nearby ramen shop that Kenma always passed by on the way to work. The ramen that Kuroo ordered had an absurd amount of corn, his attempt probably to make Kenma eat healthily, but the broth was tasty and the noodles were the right kind of chewy and it was fairly within the budget. Megamind was hilarious and Kenma found himself laughing sixteen minutes into the movie because Kuroo laughed every few seconds and pointed out all the references.

Their personalities barely matched at all, but for the first time in a long time, Kenma felt comfortable being with someone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma goes back to his hometown for the holidays with Kuroo and ends up facing the things that have been weighing on him for years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two of this fic!! this is going to be a bit longer because of a lot of Events and some angst but i hope you like it !!
> 
> also thank you so much to my beta-tester @bigbadw0lf and artist @qlerodendrum for this event

“Hmm, interesting. So, even his personality is distinct and cohesive so far,” Akaashi muttered as he read over Kenma’s reports.

“It is. Kuroo’s programming is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before,” Kenma said, feeling his voice go up a pitch in excitement. “The built-in feature with Kuroo being able to see through your device camera is also an amazing touch.”

“Indeed.,” Akaashi smiled and finally looked up from his reading to interlace his fingers together. “According to the project head, they actually patterned his voice and personality after another person but being able to transform that into a programmed AI is still amazing.”

“I can definitely see this game becoming a success,” Kenma added. “It doesn’t really have a ‘playing time’ but instead it just blends in seamlessly with your daily tasks. No other game has done that.” He shrugs.

“Well, you definitely mentioned that in your report,” Akaashi chuckled. “I’ll transfer this over to the project head to let him know how the play-testing is going. However, we’re hoping to have a longer period for the play-testing in this project. Are you alright with that, Kozume-san?”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all.,” Kenma quickly shook his head. “I’d gladly see through the project.”

“Great.,” Akaashi nodded. “With that, I think we’re all good for today.” 

At this, Kenma nodded and stood up from the chair before heading to the door.

“Oh, and Kozume-san,” Akaashi called after him and Kenma looked back at him. “Please don’t forget to take out your trash can in the cubicle for the cleaners to pick up during the holiday break.”

…

_ “Um, Kenma? This is the part where you add in the garlic.” _

“I know! I know! I just… need to prepare myself,” Kenma muttered. He had a bowl of chopped garlic in one hand and a pot lid in the other.

_ “The oil is heating up! The longer you wait the more it will splatter everywhere!”  _ Kuroo pressed.

“Fine! Fine!” Kenma shook himself and tossed the garlic into the pan. The sound of loud sizzling erupted and Kenma winced, holding up the pot lid to protect himself.

_ “Your garlic is going to burn! You have to stir it!” _

“I know! I got it!’’ Kenma grumbled, “This isn’t as easy as it looks.,” Kenma frowns at Kuroo, who was watching him cook from the phone camera propped up on the counter nearby. 

After a whole lot of convincing, Kuroo finally got Kenma to try out cooking for himself. The company had just let their workers off for the holiday break and since Kenma had nothing better to do, Kuroo was able to convince him to try out a fried rice recipe. What started out as a very chaotic experience – involving Kuroo yelling out instructions, Kenma being scared every time he tossed something into the hot pan or used the knife – ended with Kenma sitting at his table, tired and sweaty, with a bowl of freshly-cooked fried rice in front of him.

_ “Go on! Taste it! Let’s see how you did!,”  _ Kuroo encouraged him.

“This looks mostly burnt.,” Kenma sighed, scooping at a bit of rice with his spoon and putting it in his mouth.

_ “Well…?” _

“You know? It tastes better than it looks,” Kenma admitted, eyes widened. “I may have used a bit too much pepper but, tastes not bad.”

_ “See? I knew you could do it,”  _ Kuroo said. Kenma cracked a small smile and continued eating.  _ “Do you think you can do this at least once a week?” _

“Hmm, I’ll see,” Kenma mumbled, even though he already knew the answer. “I might have a bit more time since it’s the break.”

_ “Right! Are you doing anything special?’’ Kuroo asked, “Hanging out with some people?”  _ Kenma rested his head on his chin.

“Well, I’m going to visit my family for a few days.”

_ “Judging by your tone of voice and expression, I’m guessing you’re not so enthusiastic about it,”  _ Kuroo said. Kenma’s lips quirked in a small smile at how perceptive he was.

“You’re right. It’s what I dread the most during the year,” he sighed,. “But toone visit once a year during the holidays means that I won’t have to visit them often throughout the year.”

_ “That’s not a bad deal.” _

Kenma turned to the phone camera. “You’re not going to lecture me about how I should foster better connections with my family members?”

_ “Nah. I mean, it’s your life and experience so who am I to lecture you about that?”  _ Kuroo asked.  _ “But I will still lecture you about eating healthier.” _

“Right.,” Kenma rolled his eyes.

_ “You’ll have me around the entire time you’re at your home, okay? Like, I’m literally on-call 24/7,”  _ Kuroo laughed,.  _ “Oh! We can devise this system! Like you can text me something like a cat emoji to let me know you want to leave a conversation and I’ll call you up.” _

“That’s not such a bad idea,” Kenma chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

…

The next day Kenma left to go back to his hometown, Miyagi. 

He didn’t carry too much in his backpack, the heaviest thing being his laptop that he knew he couldn’t last three days at home without. Kuroo had bothered him all night about being on a voice call with him throughout the entire bus ride and of course, Kenma relented. Even though it meant that he couldn’t listen to his music with his headphones constantly filled with the sound of Kuroo talking about all sorts of things throughout the bus ride, his presence was still a welcome one. In fact, the entire ride felt much less depressing even though Kenma knew that the destination would be.

As he zoned out while listening to Kuroo’s voice, Kenma began to wonder if he was unhealthily relying on Kuroo as a new presence in his life. It was hard not to, with Kuroo’s constant texts and calls, his tendency to look out for Kenma, and the fact that he was just so reassuring to talk to. Kenma didn’t know if Kuroo was just programmed that way, but when he was talking to Kuroo, he was never condescending, and even though he did try to prod Kenma out of his shell, he still backed off when he knew he was encroaching on a sensitive subject. Kuroo was the one who helped him two weeks ago when the lunch with Shouyou and Kageyama didn’t go so well. 

All in all, Kenma didn’t quite account for the emotional toll when he signed up for the play-testing project.

‘It’s fine, just know where your boundaries are, like you always do,’ Kenma reminded himself. Growing up, he was never really one to develop deep relationships with other people. His friendship with Shouyou began when they had both gone to the same high school and joined the volleyball team. They were complete opposites in personality, but Kenma always felt welcome and at home whenever he was around Shouyou. Even with Kageyama in the picture and their current predicament about growing up and being engulfed in their own lives, it was a friendship that Kenma wouldn’t trade for anything else.

What kept Kenma from growing attached to people or expanding his social circle was his own realization that he wasn’t looking into forming anything remotely close to what was considered a ‘romantic relationship.’ That realization had been eating into him for years, ever since he was in high school, and realized that almost everyone in his class was suddenly concerned about being in a relationship. Seeing that it was the norm, Kenma tried to conform;. hHe tried to look at girls, and later on boys, the way that he knew he should be looking at them. When that failed, Kenma sighed and told himself ‘I’ll understand when I’m older.’ But then, his university years came and went and. Shouyou told him he was gay and about his crush on Kageyama Tobio, the setter in their university volleyball team. Kenma had watched them get together from the sideways, wondering when he’d feel whatever it is his best friend was feeling.

But that didn’t work either. There were nights when Kenma would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, and wonder if there was just something missing. Most of the time he just felt empty, not because he didn’t have ‘that special someone to share it with’ but because he just knew that no one would be able to understand how he felt.

_ “Oh look! We’re here! The bus just stopped, right?”  _ Kuroo’s voice shook him out of his thoughts. 

Kenma pulled back the curtain from his window and sure enough, he was at the bus stop in Miyagi.

“We’re here,” he said, with no enthusiasm in his voice.

He took as long as he could getting his backpack, disembarking the bus, and walking from the station to his house. Kenma would have taken a train or another bus to get home for an easier way but he decided to walk to prolong the time he had left until he had to arrive at his family’s house. It wasn’t so bad though, because he could tell Kuroo thoroughly enjoyed the long walk. Kenma even took his phone out of his pocket to show Kuroo around his hometown.

“You know, I can show you around more of the places here if you like,” Kenma offered after showing Kuroo the fifth convenience store they had passed through.

_ “Could you?”  _ Kuroo responded enthusiastically.

“Yeah.,” Kenma shrugged.

_ “Is this another way for you not to have to stay at home again, because I am  _ so  _ down for it.,”  _ Kuroo laughed. Kenma chuckled in return.

“Maybe it is.”

After a long walk, he was faced with the inevitable front door of his old house.  _ “I’ll leave the call now, alright? Remember the thing we talked about,”  _ Kuroo told him.

“Yeah. Thanks.,” Kenma nodded, hanging up the call. He looked up again at the door, sucked in a deep breath, and knocked.

…

Kenma grew up with a fairly normal family. His father worked as a clerk in an insurance firm and brought in a decent amount of money to put Kenma through university. His mother was a housewife who liked to knit and crochet in her spare time and made a decent amount of money selling her handmade blankets. He didn’t have any siblings and sometimes wondered if having one would make things slightly easier for him. Although Kenma’s childhood growing up was fairly normal, it was during high school that he realized that he could never really reach, or even succeed.

And right now, as he sat through an awkwardly silent dinner, Kenma was already expecting a flurry of questions.

“So, Kenma,” his father began, clearing his throat. They were still in the middle of dinner and Kenma could already feel his stomach squeezing uncomfortably, similar to that lunch date with Shouyou and Kageyama. “How has work been?”

“Fine,” Kenma responded simply.

“You’re still at that game- playing job, right?” his father asked.

“CloudNine, yes,” Kenma clarified. “Doing  _ play-testing,”  _ he added, as if it would make a difference.

“Right, right.” His father nodded. Beside Kenma, he could feel his mother awkwardly glance between them. “You know, you’ve worked there for quite a while. I know it’s common practice to stick with the job you’re working at for life but it doesn’t always  _ have  _ to be that way. I actually talked with my boss the other day at the company and—”

“No thanks, Dad,” Kenma quickly cut him off, glancing up in time to see the disappointed look on his father’s face. “I’m… I’m fine where I am.” Although, that was only partly true.

“Kenma… maybe we can hear your father out,” his mother said gently. Kenma pursed his lips but didn’t say anything.

“As I was saying,” his father continued,. “I think it would be a good idea for you to… think about other job options. With insurance work, there’s a clear direction for where your career is headed. I can even give you advice on how to get a promotion early on. And before you know it, well, maybe you’ll be able to move out of that tiny apartment in Tokyo and get yourself a better place.”

“And you know what comes after that.” Kenma’s mother smiled knowingly. 

Gripping his chopsticks tightly, Kenma knew exactly where the conversation was headed.

“Mom, Dad…” he said slowly, “Have you ever considered that maybe, that’s not really the path I want to go?”

“Well, you don’t look pretty happy about your job now,” his father pointed out. He was half-right though. Play-testing did have its fun times and all but Kenma knew for sure that it wasn’t the job he wanted to stick to. At the same time, he didn’t really know how to proceed from where he was.

“We’re just worried for you, Kenma,” his mother sighed,. “You just always seem so… empty. Like you’re not really excited about anything, except maybe your games and all.’’ She looked him in the eye. “I… I’d be less worried if you perhaps met someone you could be happy with. Maybe that would make you happy too.”

Kenma frowned as he poked at his food with his chopsticks. He debated whether or not he wanted to bring this discussion up with his parents. Deep down, he already knew that they wouldn’t accept whatever it is he was feeling. It was just a matter of whether Kenma had the energy to argue with them or not.

“I don’t think being with someone is what’s going to make me happy,” he said with finality,. “Or, at least not the way I know people do become happy when they meet a ‘special someone.’”

“But Kenma—”

“If you’ll excuse me,” Kenma said, standing up from the table and proceeding to walk away.

“Kenma, we aren’t done talking here,” his father called after him angrily. The loud sound made him wince but it was much better for him to leave without turning around.

Kenma retired to his old, childhood room upstairs and locked the door behind him. If the conversation he had just gone through wasn’t a normal occurrence, Kenma would be crying by now. Fortunately for him, he was used to it already. With a sigh, he sat down on the floor with his back to the door and took in the sight of his old room. He always felt a strange mix of nostalgia and melancholy whenever he slept in his old room. When Kenma moved to his new apartment in Tokyo, he wasn’t able to take many of his old things with him so his shelves full of video games and some comic books, his old game consoles that were well-cared for and still in good condition, and the posters he collected were still around and covered by a fine layer of dust. Kenma could almost see his younger self sitting at the desk and playing League of Legends, or him and Shouyou reading manga on the floor. Immediately, thinking about Shouyou made his chest ache so Kenma shook the memory out of his mind.

Luckily, it was then that Kuroo decided to call.

_ “Hey, Kenma.”  _ Kuroo sounded less like his enthusiastic self which worried Kenma a bit. He wondered if Kuroo was trying to be sympathetic for him. That voice could have easily come from a friend checking on someone who they knew was feeling sad.  _ “How’s it going?” _

“Well, I had a really fun family dinner,” Kenma said sarcastically.

_ “Hmmm, must have been exciting.”  _ Kuroo chuckled. Kenma closed his eyes and stretched out to lie on the floor.

“I want to watch a movie, Kuroo,” he said, closing his eyes, “Something funny, or exciting, or just plain weird. You must have a good recommendation.”

_ “You have absolutely no idea how many recommendations I can think of at the top of my artificial head,”  _ Kuroo said. Kenma let out a small laugh.  _ “We can watch together if you want, but…” _

“What?”

_ “I… I know it’s not really my place to say this at all but, I am programmed to empathize with the people I talk to,”  _ Kuroo said,  _ “And whenever I talk to you, I sense this underlying sadness and a hesitation on your part to actually be honest about how you’re feeling.” _

Kenma swallowed hard. Everything Kuroo said was true. “And?” he asked.

_ “You  _ can  _ talk to me, you know that right? I mean,’’  _ Kuroo said, _ “I’m an AI with ridiculously advanced programming and it’s not like I have anyone to spill your secrets to.” _

“Right.,” Kenma nodded. Surprisingly, he didn’t feel too uneasy about the prospect of opening up to Kuroo. “It… it might actually be good to incorporate to the play-testing too. I can see how well you’d respond to personal problems.”

_ “Sure, sure,”  _ Kuroo added.  _ “Although, I wasn’t really thinking of it from a play-testing standpoint.” _

Kenma quickly opened his eyes, remembering what he was thinking of earlier during the train ride. He felt his heart jolt in his chest. ‘Could it be…?’

_ “I was thinking about it, out of concern from a friend, I guess?”  _ Kuroo said. Kenma could read the hesitation in his voice as if Kuroo was not sure about how Kenma would take the news. He sounded almost as if he was afraid of being turned down. 

There were moments when Kenma wasn’t sure if Kuroo was actually an AI and this moment just happened to top all of those.

“I…”

_ “Ugh, you know what? That sounded stupid.,”  _ Kuroo chuckled.  _ “Just forget it I’m sure you can find—” _

“No, it’s alright,” Kenma cut him off. “I’m… thank you for the offering. That’s nice of you.”

_ “Oh,”  _ Kuroo said, sounding genuinely surprised.  _ “I’m glad then.” _

“I’m just not really used to sharing feelings and all,” Kenma admitted,. “So, don’t expect me to suddenly get all chatty.”

_ “That’s perfectly alright. Take your time!” _

“Although right now, I still want to watch a movie.” Kenma smiled.

_ “Of course!”  _ Kuroo said, going back to his enthusiastic self.  _ “Okay, don’t laugh but I have yet another Dreamworks movie to recommend. This time with animals!” _

“Oh god, please don’t say Shark Tale,” Kenma groaned.

_ “Are you kidding me? I was programmed with  _ taste  _ if you must know. Although we could watch Shark Tale for shits and giggles.” _

“Maybe after whatever it is you have planned.”

_ “Right! Okay, so have you heard of Over the Hedge?” _

“Surprisingly no.” Kenma shook his head.

_ “Well, my dear Kenma, get ready for the movie that inspired that iconic ‘Quicksilver running with everything else in slow-motion’ scene in X-Men: Days of Future Past that also juggles three villains better than Spider-Man: 3,”  _ Kuroo announced.

The movie had everything Kuroo promised and more. Kenma had to hold a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughs so that his parents wouldn’t overhear. Kenma felt his worries from earlier alleviating slightly as they watched the movie. With the way he and Kuroo were laughing at the movie and pointing out the exact same things, it was as if they had been friends for years instead of just a month. 

In addition, Kuroo didn’t think of Kenma as ‘just his play-tester’ and Kenma was starting to feel that Kuroo was more than just an AI.

…

_ “Alright, where are you taking me?”  _ Kuroo chuckled as Kenma left the house dressed in his warmest clothes and his cellphone, with the camera facing out, in his breast pocket.

“Just around town.” Kenma inhaled the cool, winter air. While he didn’t particularly like hot weather, the cold temperatures gave him a reason to stay bundled up inside. Although today was an exception. The option of staying cooped up inside the house with his parents didn’t appeal to Kenma. “The last time I was here I stayed in my room the entire break so I kind of miss walking around.”

_ “Aw, Kenma,’’  _ Kuroo gushed, _ “You don’t have to come up with that excuse to spend some time with me.” _

“You wish.,” Kenma rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Anyway, is there anything in particular you want to see?”

_ “You know, I’m not even going to point out how you contradicted yourself just there because I’m so looking forward to today.”  _ Kuroo chuckled.  _ “Bring me to your favorite places.” _

“That’s just… two places.”

_ “Oh my god, Kenma,’’ _ Kuroo groaned _ , “You’re kidding, right?” _

“Yeah, I am.,” Kenma smiled slightly as he began walking around the neighborhood. “I have a couple in mind.”

_ “I just know you won’t disappoint.” _

The first place Kenma went to was the local video game store that he had visited ever since he was younger, frequent enough for the store owner to recognize him. Kenma and the old man who ran the store talked for a short while, mostly about how his job working for CloudNine was, before Kenma moved to browsed the collections. He could tell that the store didn’t particularly appeal to Kuroo but he still made an attempt to ask Kenma about why it was one of his favorite places. While he mostly bought games that were directly programmed to his laptop from online stores, Kenma decided to buy a few, short RPG’s to play later.

The next place that Kenma decided to visit was his old university campus, something that excited Kuroo a lot more than the video game store judging by how he demanded to see all the buildings inside. Kenma decided to give him a tour, nothing too detailed, and noticed how most of the questions Kuroo would ask were related to Kenma’s own experiences: was this your favorite place to eat? What did you do here? Where did you take most of your classes? 

For once, the smattering of questions didn’t bother Kenma and he gladly answered each one. He hadn’t made a new friend after he graduated from university and sharing parts of his life with someone was actually quite refreshing and not as troublesome as Kenma thought it would be at first. 

‘But then, maybe it’s because it’s Kuroo who I’m talking to,’ Kenma mused.

After visiting his university campus, Kenma decided that it was time to bring Kuroo somewhere he knew the AI would really enjoy: the local cat café.

_ “Oh my god. This place is adorable,”  _ Kuroo squealed as Kenma entered the cozy space filled with couches and floor cushions, the delicious smell of baked goods, and of course, cats.

“I knew you’d like it.,” Kenma smiled, taking the place in. It had been forever since he last came here. “This was one of my happy places during my college years. Whenever I was stressed with an assignment or wanted to take a study break, I’d come here and play with cats.”

He ordered a slice of his favorite apple pie at the counter and sat at one of the floor cushions when an orange cat with a bell on its collar padded over to him. “Mako!” Kenma grinned, holding a hand out to the purring cat. “You still remember me, huh?” Mako leaped into Kenma’s lap and curled up against his shirt.

_ “Awww, I think that’s the first time I heard you so happy.”  _ Kuroo chuckled.  _ “And Mako is so cute.” _

“He’s been around here forever ever since he was a little kitten.” Kenma smiled, stroking Mako’s orange fur.

_ “I have never wished for hands and arms and a body more than I have now.”  _ Kuroo sighed wistfully.

“Kudos to that.,” Kenma smiled softly, scratching Mako behind the ears.

_ “What’s it like petting a cat?” _

“Umm, I’m not really good at describing things…” Kenma murmured, then he said, “Although I guess it feels, warm and of course furry.”

_ “Sensations that I obviously relate to,”  _ Kuroo snorted.

“I told you I’m not good at describing,” Kenma accused. “I don’t know, it feels like I have something comforting on my lap, something that feels safe with me.”

_ “Okay, that description’s kind of better.,”  _ Kuroo hummed.  _ “Could you stroke Mako’s nose for me?” _

“Sure thing, Kuroo.”

They sat in silence for a while with Kenma petting the cat in between bites of pie when he decided to bring up a question. 

“Do you, have this constant regret that you’re just an android?”

As soon as he said it out loud, Kenma instantly regretted it. As if sensing his distress, Kenma idly noticed that Mako hopped out of his lap, but he was focused on his regret. “I…I’m sorry I think that was more than a little insensitive.”

_ “No, it’s alright,”  _ Kuroo laughed, putting Kenma slightly at ease with just the sound.  _ “Well, I surprisingly don’t feel that as much as one would expect me to. But it’s more like, I don’t exactly know what I’m missing, if you know what I mean? I’ve never had a body before so I don’t know what it’s like enough to regret not having one.” _

“That makes sense.,” Kenma nodded.

_ “Although…”  _ Kuroo began but left the thought dangling.  _ “Nothing, nevermind.” _

“Alright,” Kenma said. “Well, I’ll be here for a bit if that’s okay with you.”

_ “Only if you show me the rest of the cats here.” _

“I think I can manage that.”

After the cat café, Kenma took Kuroo to his favorite convenience store, something that Kuroo would probably roll his eyes at considering Kenma visited convenience stores a lot even in Tokyo. But he explained that it was a special place for him, because of how much he’d eat there when uni work or family life was getting too stressful. 

“Also, for some reason, the orange slushie here tastes better,” he added as he left the store with the drink in hand.

_ Kuroo lectured him, “That’s all thanks to artificial flavoring and a lot of sugar that shouldn’t even be in your body.” _

“It’s my favorite thing to bring to the movies.” Kenma shrugged, walking down the sidewalk.

_ “Even popcorn is marginally health--- wait we’re going to the movies?!”  _ Kuroo shouted excitedly. 

Kenma winced at the volume.

“Yeah, that’s the last stop for today,” he explained, “It’s this small, local theatre that mostly screens indie movies. It’s been around ever since my first year in university.”

_ “Sounds like a memorable place.” _

“It is.” Kenma smiled as he reminisced. “Shouyou and I used to come here often, there was even this one month when we came over every week. The ticket price was cheap enough for us to watch often and we’d even collect the tickets,’’ Kenma said as he continued walking, “There was even this one movie we watched that was so funny, Shouyou and I were practically crying as we watched. Even my stomach hurt from all that laughing.”

With a slight spring in his step, Kenma rounded the corner and walked to where the building was. Even after university and he and Shouyou went on with their different lives, Kenma still found himself coming back to that little movie theatre whenever he visited his hometown, if only to remember those good old days. He had been looking forward to sharing this with Kuroo all week because he knew the AI would like it too.

But instead of meeting the familiar theatre’s glowing signboard, all Kenma saw was an abandoned building.

He halted in his steps.

It was Kuroo who caught on to what was happening long before Kenma did.  _ “Kenma,”  _ he heard him say,  _ “I’m so sorry.” _

“No, wait.” Kenma shook his head, willing for the sight he was seeing to disappear. “I mean, maybe they took down the signpost?” he said, mostly to himself, as he strode forward to the glass doors. But that only made everything worse as reality hit him. 

The main lobby of the movie theatre, which was usually filled with benches and posters of recent features decorating the walls, was completely empty. Even the maroon carpet was gone.

“It’s… gone,” he whispered, standing frozen in place, unable to tear his gaze away from the interior of the now-abandoned movie theater.

_ “I really am sorry Kenma,’’  _ Kuroo said, sympathetically, _ “I’m sure this place meant a lot to you.,” _

Kenma felt a lump in his throat but forced it down. He wasn’t one to cry at all; he barely even remembered the last time he so much as wept, and now he felt like crying over a movie theatre.

“It’s just a movie theater,” he shrugged, mostly talking to himself and not Kuroo, “I mean, there are a bunch of other ones just like it. It’s just a movie theater,” he repeated.

_ “Kenma…” _

“Hey, let’s go home,” Kenma cut him off, turning around. “There’s nothing to see here anymore.” Kuroo didn’t answer, so Kenma took it as him agreeing.

He walked all the way from the abandoned movie theater to his house with his head down. Once he reached the house, he passed the dining room with his parents eating dinner, muttering something about having already eaten outside, and locked himself in his room again. The fact that this was the second day in a row wherein he locked himself in his room was comical to Kenma, but he felt no urge to laugh. 

It was only when he was sitting on the bed, a half-full cup full of orange slushie still in his hands that Kuroo spoke again.

_ “I know it wasn’t just a movie theatre for you.” _

It was Kenma’s turn not to reply. The silence was heavy.

_ “Places and things aren’t just places and things,”  _ Kuroo continued,  _ “They always have memories tied to them. That’s what makes humans so cool I guess it’s that they can just take a look at a piece of land or random object and through some weird chemical reaction, just attach themselves to that.” _

“But isn’t in dumb?” Kenma sighed. “Isn’t it dumb that we’re just biologically programmed to feel something or feel nothing? I don’t  _ want  _ to be sad about a movie theater closing I want to be sad about why I’m like this!” he suddenly exclaimed, feeling his voice grow in volume.

_ “Like what, Kenma?”  _ Kuroo asked. 

Kenma inhaled sharply and hung his head down. For years, he had kept so much of his feelings secret, knowing that he would never be able to meet someone who felt the same way he did. But suddenly, he felt an urge to tell Kuroo about it.  _ ‘Is it because he’s an android and technically can’t tell anyone?’ _ Kenma wondered, only to realize, _ ‘No, that’s not what it is.’ _

“Like… I’m always, empty,” he said at last, “Like, there’s just something missing. I’ve known for a long time that I’m just not into the idea of dating someone or being romantically attached to someone and people always say that that sounds lonely when I just know that I’ll be lonely no matter what happens.” He shook his head. “And I thought I’d grow out of this feeling but I’m so scared of the idea that it’s just going to be like this for my whole life.”

Kenma sighed once he was done talking, realizing that he had been talking faster than usual. ‘Is this what it’s like to actually get something off your chest and not lie or dodge the question?’ he wondered.

_ “You know,”  _ Kuroo spoke up, breaking the uncomfortable silence.  _ “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you open up about how you’re feeling.” _

“I just want…” Kenma pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes and sank down to the floor. “I just want to be in that movie theater again. I can’t believe it’s all suddenly gone.” His voice trembled and he felt his cheeks grow damp against his skin. “I’ll never wait outside their main lobby again. I’ll never buy a ticket from there again. I’ll never sit in those same regular seats that they have inside the actual theater. I’ll never walk out into the lobby feeling dazed and barely alive again. I… that ticket thing really bothers me. I still have a collection of my ticket stubs and I thought I’d be collecting them forever and just knowing that there’s nothing left to collect just…” Kenma choked back a sob.

_ “Right. I remember you telling me earlier about collecting ticket stubs,”  _ Kuroo spoke softly.  _ “Do you have them here?” _

“I… actually, yeah,” Kenma sniffed and wiped his eyes. “I think I kept it in an old biscuit tin in my desk…” he muttered to himself, opening the bottom drawer of his desk and finding that same biscuit tin. “Here…” He took out the tin and opened the lid, uncovering a large clump of tickets.

Kenma felt himself let out what appeared to be a laugh and a sob. 

_ “That’s a lot of tickets,”  _ Kuroo whistled.  _ “Can I have a closer look?” _

“Yeah… sure.” Kenma nodded, picking up one of them and putting it near the phone camera.

_ “’Extreme Job,’”  _ Kuroo read out loud.

“Oh, I remember that.” Kenma smiled. “It’s this hilarious Korean comedy movie with cops, fried chicken, drugs. Shouyou and I were laughing so hard and ended up going to a fried chicken restaurant at ten o’clock.”

_ “Now you’re making me hungry,”  _ Kuroo joked. Kenma chuckled.  _ “Read out another one.” _

“Alright.,” Kenma picked out another ticket to show to him. “Oh, I remember this one. It was a horror movie but neither Shouyou nor I realized it…”

Kenma couldn’t remember the last time he had talked so much at length and in a way, it felt strange, since it was usually Kuroo filling up the silences between them. His throat was dry and his orange slushie had long been slurped up but he read through each and every one of the thirty-eight tickets in the biscuit tin, reciting all the memories by heart. In a way, Kenma knew how absurd it was for him to remember each and every memory associated with a ticket, but with Kuroo listening intently to everything, it didn’t feel so strange.

_ “You and Shouyou sure have a lot of memories, huh?”  _ Kuroo said as soon as Kenma packed all of the movie tickets back in his biscuit tin.

“Yeah. We’ve been friends for as long as I could remember.,” Kenma nodded. “Our interests were quite different but sometimes, we were able to make something out of it. Back in college, we even tried to create a game together.”

_ “What? You never told me that.,”  _ Kuroo’s voice sounded as if he was chided and Kenma imagined him pouting.  _ “Is that why you’re working for CloudNine?” _

“Well, admittedly yeah,” Kenma shrugged,,. “I kind of wanted to try out game design but I wasn’t cut out for it so I ended up in playtesting.”

_ “Have you thought about trying again?”  _ Kuroo asked.

“I do but, I just feel like it wouldn’t go well and I’d be getting my hopes up over nothing,” Kenma snorted.

_ “Hmm, let’s see about that. Why don’t you show me the game that you and Shouyou made?” _

“What? No way.’’ Kenma shook his head. “It’s never even been finished. Shouyou ended up being busy with other things and we both graduated and forgot about it..”

_ “I bet you still think about it,”  _ Kuroo said smugly. Kenma felt his eyebrows twitch at how right Kuroo was.  _ “I know you’re the type to hold on to things and since gaming is one of your passions I can only imagine how exciting creating a game for you was back then. Not to mention that you worked on it with your best friend.” _

“Now I regret opening up to you,” Kenma deadpanned.

_ “No, you don’t,”  _ Kuroo sang.  _ “Come on. Let’s play the game! I won’t judge I promise.” _

“Well…” Kenma sighed, his eyes looking at his bookshelf where he knew that a copy kept in an USB of his game was.

They were long past the time when Kenma could say ‘no’ to Kuroo because a few minutes later, Kenma had his laptop set up on his desk copying the game to his desktop. Kuroo was still on call with him with the camera of Kenma’s phone facing his laptop. As soon as the game was installed, Kenma opened it and the sight of the title screen brought back memories.

_ “Lost in Space,’”  _ Kuroo read aloud.  _ “Looks cool!” _

“Yeah,” Kenma said softly, taking in the details of the title screen art. He remembered how he and Shouyou would brainstorm about what to create for the title screen and all the drafts that were sent to him before they finally settled on a simple, black-and-white, hand-drawn scene of an astronaut sitting on the moon with his rocket beside him on the bottom-right foreground, the title ‘Lost in Space’ written in big bold letters on the starry, black sky. 

With that, Kenma clicked ‘Play’.

_ “Marooned on the Moon: Day One,”  _ Kuroo read the description, from the point of view of the astronaut and player, out loud.  _ “The engine on my rocket has broken down and so is the propeller. Fuel tank is half-full, or half-empty depending on how you look at it. Food rations are still alright and should last a few months depending on how I pace myself. Luckily, the radio transmitter still works. Except, it only works one way…” _

Kenma smiled at his words. “Hmm, maybe I should have hired you to voice this game.”

_ “My services are still available,”  _ he said nonchalantly.  _ “So this game is more of like an RPG story, right? You play as the astronaut on the moon and try to find a way home.” _

“Well, not exactly.” Kenma cocked his head. “Yes, you play the astronaut but the way I wrote this game, the astronaut doesn’t really feel strongly about going home.”

_ “How come?”  _ Kuroo asked.

“In a way, it’s easier for the astronaut to live the way he does now,” Kenma explained, “He has the basic means of survival: food and shelter and oxygen. And he’s not exactly detached from the Earth thanks to the radio but he doesn’t have to deal with all the problems down there.”

_ “So instead of just being ‘Lost in Space’ he’s pretty much lost in his own thoughts and feelings,”  _ Kuroo mused.  _ “So, what happens to the astronaut?” _

“Don’t know. As I said, it’s not finished,” Kenma shrugged, “And I just couldn’t think of an ending for it either, which is why we never finished it. I guess I was kind of using it to project my own feelings in a way?”

_ “I can definitely see that,”  _ Kuroo said.  _ “That feeling of isolation and being disconnected from everything else. Kind of sounds like you.” _

“Yeah…” Kenma stared at the astronaut on the screen who was busy looking at the wreckage of the rocket around him. “I know that the happy ending of this game would be for the astronaut to go back to Earth and the most logical way to do that is because he met someone he loves. But I don’t think I want to go that direction.” Kenma pulled his legs up to his chin and wrapped his arms around them. “The astronaut, just doesn’t really feel love the way it’s shown in the movies and thinks that maybe it’s just better for him to stay on the moon.”

_ “Well, maybe he’ll find another reason to come back to Earth,”  _ Kuroo suggested.  _ “I’d like for him to come back.” _

Kenma looked down and smiled, feeling as if Kuroo was just right beside him.

“He’s still open to the possibility.”

_ “Hey, Kenma?” _

“Yeah?” Kenma once again picked up on the hesitation in Kuroo’s voice.

_ “I lied earlier, when I said that I don’t regret having a body. Well, at first I didn’t really regret it but then that was when we were just play-tester and AI.,”  _ Kuroo paused. Kenma knew that if he had a body right now, Kuroo would probably have his hands on his hips with his head bent down, looking for the words to say.  _ “Lately, I’ve been feeling that regret, which is um, weird to me because I didn’t even think I could feel that. Actually, there are a lot of things that I didn’t realize I’d be able to feel.” _

“I…” Kenma swallowed. “What are you saying?”

_ “As an AI I can only feel so much or know so much about what I’m feeling and it’s terribly hard to put it into words,”  _ Kuroo said slowly.  _ “But most days, I wish I was a real person who could cook you lunch or something or visit your apartment or play with your hair when we’re watching movies. _

_ “And, I think these wants, these feelings, I think they’re what people feel when they fall in love?” _

Kenma wrapped his hands around his ankles, deep in thought about what Kuroo just said. In his head, he could almost see Kuroo lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling as he talked. ‘I think he’s the type who likes to stare up at ceilings a lot,’ Kenma thought.

_ “You’re not talking so I’m starting to regret what I just said.”  _ He heard Kuroo laugh nervously.

“Don’t be,” Kenma shook his head,. “I was just… thinking, I guess. All my life, I’ve just been around this idea that people should fall in love at some point and that love should just be like  _ this. _ And I could easily just dismiss your feelings as something related to being attracted to the only human you’re talking to at this point.”

_ “I’m sensing a ‘but’ here,”  _ Kuroo spoke. Kenma smiled at how hopeful he sounded.

“I don’t want to dismiss them. That’s all.”

_ “Well, great.,”  _ Kuroo sounded relieved.  _ “Um, but how do you feel about… all this?” _

Kenma looked at the astronaut on his laptop screen. “I just wish you were a real human being. I wish you were someone I’ve known for years.”

_ “I wish that too, Kenma,”  _ Kuroo said softly. Kenma smiled tiredly and yawned. Glancing at the clock on his wall, he saw that it was already three in the morning. He didn’t even realize how much time had passed.

As if he could guess what he was thinking, Kuroo said,  _ “You should get some sleep. It’s already late.” _

“Alright.,” Kenma yawned again, switching off his laptop, turning off the light switch, before using the glow from his phone to navigate his way to his bed. He curled up on his bed, pulling the blankets over him.

_ “Hey, can I see you for a bit?”  _ Kuroo asked.

“Um, sure.” Kenma nodded, feeling a bit shy when he turned the phone camera to face him. He didn’t even want to think about how exhausted and crusty he probably looked. Except, Kuroo chuckled.

_ “Good night, Kenma.” _

“Night, Kuroo.” Kenma smiled softly. And, as if pulled by some kind of strange worry, he asked, “You’ll still be here when I wake up, right?”

_ “Yeah. I can’t exactly ‘go anywhere’,”  _ Kuroo said sarcastically. 

Kenma laughed.

“Right. Good night Kuroo,” he said again.

_ “Sleep well, Kenma.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is art for this last chapter !! thank you so much to the wonderful @qlerodendrum for re-creating the last scene of this chapter. go check them out here: [chap 2 ending fanart](https://twitter.com/qlerodendrum/status/1369540336595464201)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma comes back to Tokyo and faces a new opportunity to work on his game 'Lost in Space'. Meanwhile, Shouyou has something important to tell his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are turning out for the better for Kenma !! i loved writing this chapter a lot and focusing on kenma and hinata's friendship. i hope you all enjoy it too!!
> 
> also thank you so much to my beta-tester @bigbadw0lf and artist @qlerodendrum for this event

A day after that, Kenma bid a stiff goodbye to his parents and boarded a bus back to Tokyo. Like usual, Kuroo was on-call in his pocket, the camera on for him to look around throughout the entire journey. But things were a bit different now. Kenma couldn’t describe it, especially since he didn’t feel any physical sensations, but he knew that if Kuroo were real, they would be holding hands by now.

Kenma didn’t know what label to put on whateverhis and Kuroo’s relationship was, but it was clear to him that he felt safe and slightly in a better place with the AI around. If Kuroo was a real human being, and if they had known each other for some time, they would have been close.Just the thought of that made Kenma’s chest ache. He wondered if that had been the case, would Kenma have fallen in love with him the way  Shouyou had fallen for Kageyama?

Kuroo, on the other hand, no longer brought up what he talked about that night. The next morning, he sent Kenma a text reminding him to eat breakfast or lunch since he was probably waking up late. Throughout the bus ride home, Kuroo rattled on about how annoying it was that there were so many billboards around and the fact that ‘people can’t enjoy nighttime anymore since it’s always so bright everywhere.’ Kenma wondered if Kuroo was also in the middle of processing whatever it was he was feeling, or rather the mere fact that he was feeling something. 

_ ‘Maybe he’s the type who talks and talks as a way to process things by himself,’ _ Kenma thought with a slight smile on his face. Either way, he found it endearing that Kuroo had that trait.

On the other hand, it was harder to assess Kuroo as just the AI for the play-test he was working on. The fact that Kuroo was beginning to have feelings for him, a live human being, was an interesting development, but one that Kenma didn’t think he was in the place to share. He was starting to think that there were things Kuroo talked about that were personal to him and weren’t meant for Akaashi or anyone else in CloudNine to know for that matter. 

Kuroo was no longer just an AI to Kenma, but an entire personality.

Despite that, he still made an effort to churn out his report for when he came back to the office. After the length of time he spent with Kuroo during the holiday break, Kenma was certain Akaashi was going to look for some developments. 

_ ‘I hope it’s enough,’ _ Kenma thought as he watched Akaashi flip through his report on the desk.

“Good work again, Kozume-san.” Akaashi nodded, closing the folder. Kenma let out a sigh of relief. As always, hearing ‘good work’ from his boss was more than what he aimed for. “You know, even the game developer himself is quite pleased with seeing the play-test results,” Akaashi continued, lacing his fingers together on top of the desk,. “Actually, the programmers said they have a new feature to add. The update will come up soon on your own device.”

“I’ll take note of that.” Kenma hummed.

“Also, due to its apparent success throughout its playtesting, they also say we might be accepting a release in the coming year.”

“That’s great,” Kenma nodded, “I’m sure the tech could be used in various games too, maybe even story-based RPGs that could be played through the simple conversational mechanic.”

Akaashi smiled. “You have a good idea for conceptualizing games, Kozume-san. I’ve noticed that a bit from our small interactions whenever you send in your reports.”

“Oh,” was all Kenma could say as he shifted in his seat, not exactly sure what to make of the compliment. “Well, I do like to play a lot of games so I guess that experience helps.”

“A lot of people can play games, but it takes just a bit more to conceptualize one,” Akaashi mused,. “I haven’t made or conceptualized a game myself but I’ve met some developers and creators. One thing that I say they have in common is a certain outlook on the world, combined with having gone through a unique set of experiences.”

“I’m… not quite sure what you’re getting at,” Kenma admitted.

“Sorry, I should just get straight to the point.” Akaashi waved his hand. “I’m aware that applying for the Play-Testing department wasn’t really your first choice, I read through your transcript and application form. You wanted to be in the Game Development department, right?”

“Yeah.,” Kenma nodded.

“Well, have you thought about applying again?” Akaashi asked.

“No, not really,’’ he shook his head, “Kind of got caught up a bit in the whole play-testing thing.” It felt a bit hollow, though. In actuality, he did think a bit about trying again for game development but he just felt he was going to be rejected in the end.

“The thing is, CloudNine has been on the lookout for emerging game developers. Kind of as a way to scout for more games to develop and to show support for the more indie scene,” Akaashi said, rifling through his papers on the desk before pulling out a colorful flyer and handing it to Kenma. ‘LF: Emerging Game Developers’ was written on it. “Maybe it’s something you could check out?” he offered.

“Oh, sure.,” Kenma nodded, looking at the flyer again before folding it into a neat square and pocketing it.

Even though it was deep inside the pocket of his jeans, Kenma could practically feel it all throughout the day as he worked on the remainder of his reports. He only took it out again once he was back at home, after he finished attempting to cook himself fried rice again, and read the details. Apparently, it was some type of contest wherein people were invited to pitch their games to the staff at the Game Development department. The ‘winner’ of the contest, or rather the one who catches the attention of the staff the most, would have a chance to get their game developed at CloudNine and sold at their online game shop.

“Participants must also give a sample beta version of their game for the pitch to give the judges a clear idea of their project,’” Kenma read aloud. 

Just then, his phone rang and Kenma picked it up, already knowing that it was Kuroo.

_ “Kenmaaaa!”  _ he crowed.  _ “Please tell me you’re not eating instant ramen.” _

“I’m not! I’m eating fried rice... That I made,” Kenma protested, turning on the camera on his phone to show Kuroo.

_ “That looks a lot less burnt than it was last time,”  _ Kuroo commented casually.  _ “I’m proud of you!” _

“Thanks.” Kenma smiled, with a mental image of a hand patting his head. Kuroo seemed like the type who would do that.

_ “I have news, by the way! That’s why I called you!”  _ Kuroo exclaimed.  _ “So, CloudNine is holding this—” _

“Contest looking for game developers, right?” Kenma added. “Akaashi-san already told me.”

_ “You should join it! With Lost in Space and everything.” _

“Somehow, I kind of guessed you were going to say that,” Kenma sighed,. “And I’m already going to say no.”

_ “What? Why not? Lost in Space is a good game.” _

“We barely played through it. Also, I just have the first chapter done. Also, the one who made all those illustrations was  Shouyou , not me,” Kenma reasoned. “And besides, there probably are a million other cool games out there. There’s no way Lost in Space is going to make it.”

_ “Well, I believe in it,”  _ Kuroo said softly.  _ “I know you’re not the type of guy who listens to the whole ‘you’ll never know until you try’ so I’m going to do the whole ‘you won’t lose anything from trying.’” _

“Um, there’s the whole I’ll be investing my time in it thing.”

_ “But you finish your work quickly. And most of the play-testing you’re doing is just with me and I’m always talking to you.” _

“I can’t do the illustrations either.”

_ “I’ll help you out! I actually have this feature when I can interact with the stuff on your device like applications. It’s kind of like being on a Google Document with someone.” _

“Oh, the new update.” Kenma nodded.

_ “And, as an AI, I can learn really quick so you can even teach me how to code and stuff,”  _ Kuroo added.  _ “And I have all the time in the world.” _

“Well…”

_ “Hah! I caught you,”  _ Kuroo laughed.  _ “Okay, fine. I won’t push you, cause it’s your game. And, I know it’s a creation that’s really close to you.” _

“It is,” Kenma admitted. “Honestly, one of the other reasons why I couldn’t think of a continuation to the game was because I was at a bit of a standstill. But now…” Kenma paused and tugged at the hem of his sleeve,. “Somehow, I feel like things are moving forward a bit. And I think they’ve started when you came around.”

_ “Is that so?”  _ Kuroo asked. Kenma imagined someone tilting his head at him.  _ “Well, I’m flattered.” _

“For some reason, it was much easier for me to open up to you than I have with other people. It’s like, whatever I say, you won’t judge me for it and that’s what makes me want to talk to you more,” Kenma said. “I’ve been admitting a lot of things lately.”

_ “If you want, I can admit some things too. To kind of, even things out?”  _ Kuroo offered.  _ “Wait, scratch that. I _ want  _ to admit things to you. Heck, it doesn’t even feel like admitting. I just, want to tell you things.” _

“Sure, shoot.”

_ “I’ve been thinking a lot about my existence.” _

“Is… this going to be some philosophy discussion thing?” Kenma asked. 

Kuroo laughed. 

_ “Hah, you’re funny Kenma. Seeing that, you’re clearly up for that kind of discussion, I must politely refuse,”  _ hesaid.  _ “But, to continue,. I’ve been thinking a lot about me, me as an AI, in relation to you. I’m fully aware of what I am but when I’m talking to you, I feel almost human.’’ Kenma’s eyes widened. “And, from that closeness and human-ness, I can just feel things more intensely. At the same time, I keep wondering if it’s right for me to have these feelings, cause… I’m not human.” _

Kenma was silent for a while, pondering everything that Kuroo said. Then, he said, “Well, what does it mean to be human?” 

There was silence for a beat, before they started laughing out loud.

_ “I thought you didn’t want this to be a philosophy discussion thing,”  _ Kuroo argued.

“I couldn’t help it! The moment was right there,” Kenma reasoned. “In all honesty though, sometimes I do get that feeling that I’m not quite human. Ever since I was young, everyone’s just been drilling this idea that romantically loving other people makes us human. And since I’ve never experienced that, I’ve always felt that I was not quite human too. I guess it’s why I find it so hard connecting to people.”

_ “Hence the astronaut that’s lost in space.” _

“Hence, the astronaut that’s lost in space,” Kenma affirmed.

_ “Hey, I have a storyline continuation for you,”  _ Kuroo started.  _ “What if, that astronaut somehow gets into contact with someone on Earth through the radio in their rocket ship. Someone who’s just an ordinary guy but someone who the astronaut ends up being happy to talk to. You know, so the story gets a bit more interesting with another character.” _

“Mm-hmm. And what happens to them?” Kenma asked.

_ “Well, the person on Earth doesn’t really force the astronaut to come back home. He kind of just, talks about his usual day-to-day activities. But at some point, the astronaut starts talking about why he still doesn’t want to come back to Earth. And… I don’t know how the rest of the story goes yet but, it’s an idea.” _

“I sure wonder where you got that idea.” Kenma smiled. “Okay, fine. I’ll do it.”

_ “You’ll do it? You’ll submit Lost in Space?”  _ Kuroo repeated, clearly excited and over the moon.

“Yeah, but I’m not expecting to win something.”

Kuroo laughed.  _ “Do it for the experience and the bonding between us!” _

“I already bond you with 24/7,” Kenma grumbled, but smiled deep down knowing that if it wasn’t for Kuroo, he would have long tossed away that flyer.

…

“When you’re on Earth, you never truly appreciate the fact that the planet you live on rotates every single day. Sure, that’s how you experience night and day in the first place but sometimes, it’s hard not to take that for granted,’’ Kenma read aloud,. “That’s what I’ve been doing these days instead of fixing my rocket: watching the Earth slowly spin around. It’s incredibly slow but from all the way here in the moon, you can’t help but admire how magnificent it is.” He was still in his cubicle in the office, his work partially done for the day, and so he decided to sneak in a bit of writing for his game.

_ ‘I’m super rusty with this whole writing thing,’  _ Kenma sighed as he read through the passages he just wrote. He had the idea that he wanted to convey in his mind, but writing down the astronaut’s actual thoughts was proving harder than he thought it was going to be.

After a bit more pondering, Kenma decided to open the chatroom that was exclusive to Kuroo’s app and paste his writing there.

[to: kuroo]

_ what do you think? i feel like writing isn’t my thing at all _

_ i’m not really sure what to do with all of it _

[from: kuroo]

_ well, i do think you’ve conveyed the main emotions and ideas right. the astronaut definitely sounds astronaut-y _

_ though you kind of tend to make things a bit redundant. you use ‘and’ and ‘sometimes’ a bit too much _

[to: kuroo]

_ got it. i’ll go over it again _

[from: kuroo]

_ YOU GOT THIS KENMA!! LET’S GET THIS ARTIFICIAL BREAD _

[to: kuroo]

_ weirdo _

Kenma edited out some lines from his writing again before going back to his reports. Aside from Kuroo, he had received more games to play-test that also needed their own reports. Usually, he was pretty focused and dedicated to play-testing since he saw it as his chance to play games and get paid. But for some reason, Kenma’s heart just wasn’t in it. 

‘Maybe it’s because I’ve been doing this for too long,’ he thought with a sigh. Kenma hated the prospect of having to switch jobs and find himself in one that he hated more than play-testing. But he also worried about growing to hate playing games from getting tired of play-testing.

‘Unless…’ his thought trailed off as he began to think about the possibility of getting into Game Development. Kenma didn’t like to think about absolute certainties, but he was hopeful that he’d actually be happier there. 

Game Development was the thing he wanted to do for so long.

“Do you really think that ‘Lost in Space’ will get selected?” Kenma asked. He was back home with Kuroo and after having some takeout ramen—, the one Kuroo ordered from last time—, they got right to work. As promised, Kuroo learned quickly and was soon helping with the coding for the game. His illustrations were also quite good but still lacked the life that  Shouyou ’s had. Kenma felt a pang of guilt at the fact that he was working on Lost in Space with someone else but he knew  Shouyou would understand.

_ “I have the strangest feeling that this isn’t going to be the first time you’ll be asking me about that,”  _ Kuroo sighed.

“You’re the one who roped me into this in the first place,” Kenma argued.

_ “I know, I know. I guess these are the consequences of my actions,”  _ Kuroo said,  _ “Well, if you want me to give you the most robotic answer I can think of, which I’m basing on probability here, I’d say that the chances may be slim. That’s not entirely Lost in Space’s fault, though. I mean, there are a billion amazing games out there.” _

“Yeah.,” Kenma sighed.

_ “If you say ‘maybe we shouldn’t go through with it’ one more time I am going to hack into your phone, transform it into a robot, and attack you in your sleep.” _

“At least let me write it down in my report before you do,” Kenma said sarcastically. 

Kuroo laughed. 

_ “You’re funny, Kenma.” _

“Of course I am.” Kenma liked it a lot when Kuroo said he was funny. “On the contrary though, just thinking about continuing Lost in Space has been fun. Kind of reminds me of when  Shouyou and I were first making it.”

_ “Is this a storytime I sense coming?”  _ Kuroo goaded him. 

Kenma chuckled. 

“Well, since you so desperately want to know... It’s not exactly a complete story, per se. It’s just, moments. We stayed in the same dorm room all throughout university but the only time we actually got to work on Lost in Space was late at night. Most of the time, we’d just have empty cups of instant ramen, Dr. Pepper cans, and meat bun wrappers strewn around the floor while we were hunched over our shitty laptops.  Shouyou ’s drawing tablet was also pretty shitty and I’d often hear him curse under his breath as he had to start over.” Kenma smiled at the memories.

_ “Typical college students, huh?”  _ Kuroo said,.  _ “If I’d had known you then, I would have barged into your room without asking with salads for you both and swiped your laptops away so you would sleep.” _

“Then there would be no Lost in Space.”

_ “Then I’d do it once a week.” _

“That sounds more reasonable.,” Kenma chuckled.

_ “I… I hope I’m a good enough game development partner, though,”  _ Kuroo said softly,.  _ “Like, I know there’s only so much I can do but—” _

“You’ve done more than enough,” Kenma quickly cut him off. “I wouldn’t even be working on this if it wasn’t for you. So, thank you for that. Really.”

_ “I’m glad, Kenma,”  _ Kuroo said. He sounded, relieved.  _ “I’m smiling right now if you couldn’t tell.”  _ Kenma snickered and shook his head at the phone camera that was facing him.

“Yeah, I can tell. You’re funny, Kuroo.”

For the next few nights, Kenma worked on Lost in Space with Kuroo. As much as it was a headache to write game dialogue and strings of code, he found himself enjoying the work. After years of play-testing other people’s games and writing reports on them, Kenma had finally found his opportunity to create. ‘It’s what humans were born to do,’ he recalled reading or hearing somewhere. And as someone who grew up with the whole ‘being human means falling in love,’ Kenma liked this generalization a whole lot more.

Since he was in a better headspace, Kenma started wondering about how  Shouyou and Kageyama were doing after he had left them in a rush during their lunch. Looking back on it, Kenma was sure  Shouyou had detected something off about him but decided not to breach the subject. Kenma wanted to apologize to his friend and hopefully meet up again but he just couldn’t bring himself to type out the message. 

Until one day, the opportunity practically handed itself to him on a silver platter.

_ “Well, don’t you look snazzy,”  _ Kuroo whistled as Kenma held up his phone in front of the mirror to show off his outfit.

Kenma deadpanned, “It’s literally black jeans and a sweater.”

_ “Yeah, but it’s still a look,”  _ Kuroo argued.  _ “Also, is that a collared shirt I see?” _

“My only one,” Kenma said proudly.

_ “You’re such a dork,”  _ Kuroo laughed,.  _ “Anyway, I hope you enjoy the exhibit. Also getting some sunlight on you for once.” _

“That’s unless I shrivel up and die.,” Kenma grimaced as he undid the button on his collar to keep it from choking him. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

_ “Nah, I’ll be alright,”  _ Kuroo said,.  _ “Besides, I think it would be a bit difficult introducing me to your friend.” _

“I think he’d be pretty amazed and excited to meet you above anything else.,” Kenma shrugged.

_ “Exactly! He’ll end up loving me too much.,”  _ Kuroo’s words made Kenma roll his eyes.

“Whatever. I’ll be back in a bit.”

_ “Don’t stay too late!” _

…

For as long as Kenma could remember,  Shouyou ’s dreams about who he wanted to be in the future had constantlychanged. His friend went through particular ‘phases’ all throughout his life: football player, ice skater, paleontologist, and at one point, a restaurant owner. But Kenma, being next to him, could also pinpoint the exact moment  Shouyou fully realized what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. It had been during a field trip back in high school when they went to the Tokyo Metropolitan Museum. One of the exhibits there was this giant installation art piece of a whale that was made of newspaper and suspended from the ceiling.  Shouyou looked at it like it was the most magical thing in the world. And the rest was history.

Now, he was setting up an exhibit in the very place where his dream started and Kenma knew just how big a deal this was for his best friend. As he stood in line to buy a ticket, Kenma couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming amount of excitement for his best friend. On the second floor of the gallery, where  Shouyou ’s exhibit was being held, Kenma blended among the crowds of people, eager to surprise his friend, only to find  Shouyou , dressed in formal wear and standing to the side, with a downcast expression on his face.

_ ‘Does he need to go to the bathroom again?’  _ Kenma wondered as he decided to approach his friend.

“ Shouyou !” he called out, waving his hand.  Shouyou ’s head jerked up in his direction and quickly pinpointed Kenma amongst the crowd. He smiled as he walked up to him.

“Kenma, you’re here!” He enveloped him in a hug.

“Of course. Wouldn’t want to miss your big day,” Kenma smiled, patting his friend’s arm, “I… sorry about the uh, sudden work call the other day.”

“Don’t worry about it.”  Shouyou waved his hand. “Hey, let me show you around! Artist’s best friend benefits.” He grinned.

“Sure, that would be great.” Kenma nodded.

Unlike his previous ‘phases,’  Shouyou ’s decision to focus on installation art had been pretty much set since the beginning. He liked working with physical objects, stuff he could touch, and the multitude of mediums excited him. Based on his new pieces in the exhibit, Kenma could definitely tell that his best friend had come a long way. All of the pieces there were just so unbelievably  _ Shouyou _ , as if only he could think and create those things. It almost made Kenma think about Lost in Space and love it a little more. Even though it probably wouldn’t win the contest, it was still going to be a game that only he could conceptualize.

“And this is by far, my favorite piece,”  Shouyou grinned, gesturing grandly above them. The piece was a pair of wings made from different scraps of metal. Kenma couldn’t help but gape as he took in the sight. He could just make out what the scraps of metal were – a bike handlebar, a bedframe, part of a wall sconce – but at the same time, they all just melded seamlessly into the feathers of the wings.

“It’s…  _ beautiful,”  _ Kenma breathed.

“This took me a year and more to make.”  Shouyou chuckled and shook his head as he looked up at it. “I had to pay for so many junk parts and sweated in overalls and headgear for days on end. Even Tobio—” He stopped himself and looked down.

“What?” Kenma asked.

“Nothing. He’d just… always bring me a thermos of ice water during those days,”  Shouyou sighed. Kenma had the feeling that something was wrong, but his friend wasn’t quite ready to share so he decided to drop it. “Anyway, um, would you like to get dinner after this? Just the two of us?” he asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

“Sounds good.” Kenma nodded before smirking. “That is, if you’re in the mood for some instant ramen.”  Shouyou laughed.

It was just like old times. After the gallery show, Kenma and  Shouyou swung by the convenience store and stuffed their cart full of instant ramen, meat buns, and canned soda before returning to Kenma’s apartment. 

There, Kenma realized  Shouyou still loved cracking a raw egg into his instant ramen before adding the hot water in. It was the exact thing Kenma had been looking for all these years because his best friend always felt like home. They recalled stories from their university days., Kenma brought up their favorite movie theater closing down and  Shouyou looked extremely bummed about it, and talked about new things that they were up to.

“So, how’s the playtesting going? You said you had a new project with this cool AI or something?”  Shouyou asked.

“You… remembered?” Kenma asked. He seemed incredulous.

“Of course I did!”  Shouyou snorted. The two of them had moved from the dining table to the couch where they were now eating from a potato chip bag.

“Well, it’s been going well actually.” Kenma nodded. “It’s an AI that’s been programmed to interact with a player through messages and calls on your device. Plus, it’s designed to be human-like with like a whole personality and everything. The one that I’m playtesting now is named Kuroo.”

“That’s so cool!”  Shouyou exclaimed. “So, it’s like you’re talking to a real, human being but on your phone?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Sometimes, I even forget he’s an AI.,” Kenma chuckled. “And, aside from that, I’ve actually been working on Lost in Space.”

“Lost in Space?!”  Shouyou  practically jumped up from the couch. “That game we used to work on?”

“That one.,” Kenma nodded with a smile, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. “I’m actually looking to enter it in a contest for the chance of it getting developed by CloudNine and also sold on their platform.’’ He grimaced. “Sorry, I should have told you first.”

“No, it’s great! I’m so excited for you!”  Shouyou grinned broadly. “And besides, Lost in Space is more of your child than mine.”

Kenma arched his brow. “You illustrated the art for it.”

“Yeah, but you were the one who had the idea in the first place,”  Shouyou pointed out. “I mostly went along with it since you were so passionate about it.”

“I was?” Kenma raised an eyebrow.

“You were! I mean, of course you don’t show it as much,’’ he gestured around, “but you always had this wide-eyed, focused stare on your face when you were excited about something and you’d talk way less than you would.”

“Huh, I guess so.”

“Well, correct me if I’m wrong but, I’ve always felt that Lost in Space was kind of an outlet for you in some way, like art was for mine,”  Shouyou said softly. He tilted his head. “I mean, you’d never really talk about your problems but I could tell that something has been weighing on you for the longest time. Sometimes, you’d just feel like an island. No matter how many times I’d try to reach you, somehow you kept drifting away.”

Kenma fell silent at that. _ ‘An island, huh? Well, that’s about right.’ _

“Sorry, am I being too invasive?”  Shouyou laughed. “Also, I kind of just realized islands don’t exactly float by themselves.”

“It’s alright.,” Kenma chuckled softly. “Well, you’re pretty right about everything you just said.” 

“Hey,”  Shouyou placed a hand on his knee. “I know we haven’t been in touch in forever but, you’re still my best friend. You can open up to me about anything.” His eyes were sincere.

Kenma exhaled, thinking about what Kuroo said about him learning to open up. As much as Kuroo was a huge help to him, Kenma knew it would be unfair to rely on just him for all his problems. There were other people he had to let in too, no matter how scary that could be.

“I feel like, all these years growing up, I’ve never been attracted or liked anyone romantically,” he finally admitted. “You know how people always say that ‘it’s completely human to fall in love’ or, ‘you’ll understand when you’re older.’ Well, I never ‘understood’ and it’s been such a pain living for so long thinking that I’m abnormal or something. I just, don’t really feel the same way about romantic relationships the way normal people do.”

“Ooh, I think there’s a word for that!”  Shouyou exclaimed, as if he had figured out the right answer to a question a teacher was asking. “Aromatic, I think? No wait, that means ‘smells nice.’”

“I think it’s aromantic.,” Kenma chuckled. “Well, I’m glad that there’s finally a word for it. I guess I am aromantic.” He shrugged.

“I’m glad that you told me. You looked really relieved there for a second to get that off your chest.”  Shouyou’s smile was encouraging. “But all your life, huh? You must have had a hard time, Kenma.” Kenma didn’t know if it was the words themselves or the way he said them but, he almost felt like crying.

“I managed.”

“Well, I’ve also been wanting to say something, though it’s not really a secret I’ve kept my whole life,”  Shouyou chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Tobi—Kageyama and I broke up.”

“Oh,” was all Kenma could say.

“Yeah, oh,”  Shouyou sniffed and drained the rest of his soda. “I’m still in the process of moving out and it’s been hard because of all my art stuff and, because of everything else. We broke up maybe two weeks ago though.”

“I’m sorry,” Kenma muttered.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. In fact,”  Shouyou sighed as he gazed at a point far away, “In fact, I think the break-up has been a long time coming. I was seeing the signs but ignoring them because I kept thinking ‘hey, we got this far, it’s kind of a waste for us to break it off now’. But it just doesn’t work that way.”

“Is it alright if I ask what triggered or caused the whole break-up?” Kenma asked carefully.

“Natural causes, I guess?”  Shouyou cocked his head. “You know, sometimes when people grow up together, they end up growing apart and that’s what happened to Kageyama and I. We had some good times together, too many to count, and we had just the normal amount of fights that couples have. Then, at some point, Kageyama stopped being the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I stopped being his.”

Shouyou paused and reached over the side of the couch to open another bag of chips. “Even sad, late- night talks need snack breaks.” He laughed slightly, handing the bag to Kenma.

“Never change,  Shouyou. ,” Smiling, Kenma took a couple of chips.

“Anyway,”  Shouyou continued while crunching a mouthful of chips. “That conversation we had hurt, it hurt a lot. And it still hurts. But, it’s better than a prolonged kind of hurt, you know what I mean? Also, I know a lot of people were expecting Kageyama and me to get married and stuff so I feel like I disappointed them in some way.”

“Who cares what they think?” Kenma’s snort made  Shouyou laugh.

Shouyou shrugged. “I knew you’d always have my back.”

“Still do.”

“Likewise.,”  Shouyou grinned. “Ah, shit it’s super late.” He glanced at the wall clock hanging over Kenma’s door. “Sorry for keeping you up. You have work tomorrow, right?”

“Don’t worry about it. I stay up late all the time anyway.,” Kenma waved it off and began collecting their trash and stuffing it into the convenience store plastic bag. “Oh, and you can stay the night if you want,’’ he offered, ”I don’t think the buses are running at this hour.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll get you a blanket and all.”

“You’re the best, Kenma!”  Shouyou grinned. “Also, um, if you need anyone to help you illustrate for Lost in Space… I’ve got a lot of free time on my hands.”

“Wait, you mean it?” Kenma blinked in surprise. “I know you’re busy and all especially with moving out. And your art and you really don’t have to but—”

“Kenma,”  Shouyou cut him off with a serious but amused look on his face. “Do you want me to help, or not?” 

Kenma felt his lips quirk up in a smile. Hinata Shouyou was a good friend.

“I do,” he said. “It will be just like old times.”

“Yeah, and I’d have a reason to crash on your couch every night,”  Shouyou joked.

…

“Hello? Kuroo?”

_ “Okay, thank  _ god,’’ Kuroo instantly yammered in his ear, _ “I was already thinking that you had been kidnapped by the art mafia that  _ _ Shouyou _ _ secretly runs or something and about to call the police.” _ . Even though Kenma had a relatively good day, he still couldn’t help but smile and relax even more at the sound of Kuroo’s voice.

“Well, I’m safe in my room and still in one piece. Definitely not tortured by the art mafia.” He chuckled, deciding to play along.

_ “Oh my god, how would being tortured by the art mafia even look like?” _

“They’ll hold up a picture of a car crash and a Picasso and make you choose which one is the Picasso,” Kenma joked. 

Kuroo laughed. Kenma had the fleeting thought that, if he were human, he’d be the kind of person who held his sides and tossed his head back whenever he laughed too hard.

_ “You’re funny, Kenma.” _

“I try.”

_ “So,’’ Kuroo speculated, “I’m guessing from your tone of voice and the fact that you’re in a joking mood that you had a good day.” _

“As always, you’re correct.,” Kenma lay down on his bed and pulled the blankets over his feet. Even though winter’s end was approaching, he was still very much cold all the time. “I met up with  Shouyou at the gallery and we ended up getting convenience store food…”

_ “Again with that food? Kenma!”  _ Kuroo chastised him.

“It was a homage to our university days when we lived on shitty food!” Kenma reasoned.

_ “You  _ still  _ live on shitty food. Anyway, continue.” _

“Well, we ended up talking a lot.’’ Kenma shifted in his place. “I told him about Lost in Space and he’s willing to illustrate for it again.”

_ “That’s great! I’m telling you, drawing is definitely not my calling,”  _ Kuroo chuckled,  _ “See, told you it was a good idea to continue it.” _

“Yeah, yeah. You’ve been gloating for the past week already,” Kenma sighed. “And, I told him about, you know, my whole lack of attachment with being in a romantic relationship.”

Kuroo hummed. _ “I’m guessing he understood.” _

“He did. I feel kind of stupid for not telling him sooner, to be honest.” Kenma smiled and turned his head to the side to look out the window. “But, I don’t think I would have even had the guts or even be in the mindset to tell him if I hadn’t told you first,’’ Kenma’s voice was low as he admitted it. “So, thank you for that, Kuroo.”

_ “You’re welcome, Kenma,”  _ Kuroo said, voice so warm it threatened to make Kenma cry again.

“Apparently  Shouyou and Kageyama broke up too,” Kenma added. “After what was five years of them being in a relationship too.”

_ “Whoa, that’s a long time.” _

“I know. But, when  Shouyou was telling me about it, he didn’t seem to regret the whole breaking up thing at all,’’ Kenma mused,”I mean, he was sad, of course, because it was a good relationship. But he also said something about growing apart even though you grow up together, and that’s how they both realized that they had to part ways.”

_ “That makes a lot of sense,”  _ Kuroo affirmed.  _ “You know, aside from a whole lot of knowledge on Dreamworks movies, I happen to be programmed to be quite familiar with romance movies.” _

“No kidding.” Kenma let out a laugh.

_ “Yeah. I’m sure you’d know it’s all very formulaic in how it depicts romance,”  _ Kuroo continued, voice solemn.  _ “If they want it to be a top-grossing film, they’ll make the couple end up together. If they want it to be a critical success to be nominated for the Oscars, they won’t make the couple end up together.” _

“I’ve never really watched those kinds of movies for obvious reasons but I don’t doubt you there.,” Kenma chuckled.

_ “That’s not the only formulaic thing about them. They always talk about love as an irregular occurrence when it’s just presented so regularly in the film. Of course the couple goes through some kind of rough spot so that the film has a plot but then some kind of strange occurrence happens and they end up together again. Or, they go the Oscar film route and add a tragic goodbye,”  _ Kuroo said. He made a sound as if he had clicked his tongue.  _ “I guess what I’m getting at is, humans are more complex than that. Someone can meet their ‘only one’, break up with them, and meet another one. Some couples just up and decide that it’s time they look for other people. Some just grow apart.” _

“And some end up falling for AI programs,” Kenma muttered aloud before he fully realized what he just said.

_ “What?” _

“I--- uh,” Kenma sat up with a start, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. “Wait, I didn’t mean. Well, I did, but, I…” he stammered.

_ “Kenma…” _

“Okay, look. That was a slip of the tongue cause you were talking about the movie stuff and…”

_ “Kenma…” _

“Which isn’t to say that I don’t  _ like  _ you but rather…”

_ “Kenma!”  _ Kuroo said a bit louder, stopping Kenma’s rant. 

Kenma squeezed his eyes shut, prepared to face the music. The rejection and heartbreak.

_ “I’ve also fallen for you.” _

Kenma felt his fingers twitch nervously and he pulled his blankets a bit closer to his lap. “I… I do think I’ve grown to love you, Kuroo. In my own way of course. You’re the first person I’ve been this vulnerable with and you just, accept me, even though I don’t know why.”

_ “Do you think you’d be okay with us living together? If I were real?”  _ Kuroo asked softly.

“Well, I do kind of need someone to stop me from eating convenience store food all the time,” Kenma joked.

_ “That’s right! I’ll be making you nice, home-cooked meals every day. Hide your laptop whenever you game to late and wake you up bright and early every morning,”  _ Kuroo listed.

“Okay, I’m starting not to like that whole idea.”

_ Kuroo seemed hopeful as he suggested, “And then we can marathon Dreamworks movies?” _

“Much better,” Kenma smiled, settling back into bed and closing his eyes.

_ “I don’t know what my work would be but imagine the two of us coming home after our jobs.’’  _ As Kuroo spoke, he imagined scenario after scenario in his head.  _ “ _ _ I’ll be cooking dinner as soon as possible because I know how grouchy you get whenever you’re hungry. We’d eat dinner on the couch most of the time while watching something on your laptop. I’d… I’d like it whenever you rest your head on my shoulder while watching. Sometimes you’d fall asleep halfway through the movie but I can’t imagine continuing watching without you. So, I just scoop you up and tuck you in bed.” _

“That sounds nice, Kuroo,” Kenma murmured sleepily, a smile on his face.

_ “Can you, turn on your camera while you sleep?”  _ Kuroo asked.  _ “I can turn off the call after a few minutes so you could save battery but, I’d like to watch you fall asleep.” _

“You weirdo.,” Kenma laughed but turned on his camera nonetheless before placing his phone on his nightstand where Kuroo could see him clearly. “My battery’s full, by the way, and you can leave it on if you want to. I’ll just charge it at the office.”

_ “Great,”  _ Kuroo said.  _ “Good night, Kenma.” _

“You’ll be around when I wake up, won’t you?” Kenma asked, looking directly at the camera. He wondered what Kuroo could see.

_ “I will, Kenma.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kenma and kuroo's relationship is progressing >.< god, i love these two so much


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma prepares to pitch 'Lost in Space' to CloudNine and await his results. Then, he receives news that he doesn't expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter four of this fic!! we're nearing the end and i hope you guys have enjoyed this fic so far!
> 
> also thank you so much to my beta-tester @bigbadw0lf and artist @qlerodendrum for this event

Kenma never thought developing a game would somehow lead him to try on suits in a department store, yet here he was doing exactly that. 

“You’ll be presenting your game to people who are looking to develop it. You’ve gotta make a good impression!’’  Shouyou had reasoned.

_ “Statistics also state that you have a higher chance of being remembered if you dress the part,’’ _ Kuroo had added, finally convincing Kenma to try on some nice clothes. 

Right now, he was wearing a gray-colored suit jacket over a light blue shirt with matching gray slacks.

“I don’t exactly see the difference between this one and the previous ones,’’ Kenma said, “but… it fits?” He opened the changing room stall to show  Shouyou and Kuroo who were outside.

_ “This is different, this one’s gray!”  _ Kuroo said.  _ “And it looks  _ good.”

“Yeah! It looks great on you Kenma!” Hinata nodded enthusiastically.

“Well, great. That’s what you guys said about the previous ones. Now can we just get this and go?” Kenma sighed.

“Hmmm, it does look a bit plain though,”  Shouyou mumbled, cocking his head to the side as he eyed Kenma from head to toe.

“No, it’s fine.” Kenma gritted his teeth.

_ “You’re right,”  _ Kuroo agreed.  _ “Wait! I know just the thing! Hinata, can you try to get a red button-up?” _

Kenma frowned. “A red button-up?”

“Ohhh! I see where you’re going!”  Shouyou nodded. “Okay, give me two seconds!” With that, he ran off back to the main shopping area before Kenma could object. 

Sighing, Kenma ran a hand through his hair, absentmindedly wondering if he should do something with his hair when he presented Lost in Space to the board of judges until  Shouyou came back with a red shirt on a hanger.

“It was the last one left but it’s just your size,” he grinned, handing it to Kenma, “I don’t know, but that seems pretty lucky to me.”

_ “Try it on! Pleaaaase,”  _ Kuroo pleaded from his place on Kenma’s phone, tucked into  Shouyou ’s shirt pocket. Kenma wondered if Kuroo could see him better from that spot.

“Fine. But hopefully, it’s the last one,” he gave in, taking the shirt from  Shouyou and entering the changing room again. 

Kenma was grateful that changing shirts was much less of a hassle than changing pants. When he finally put on the red button-up with the gray jacket on top, he kind of understood why Kuroo and  Shouyou were so intent on him trying it on.

He rarely put that much care into his appearance, especially when it came to what he wore. But looking at himself in the mirror, he had to admit that he did look pretty good.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!”  Shouyou cheered when Kenma finally opened the door and stood in front of them. “The gray is traditional but the red is really going to get their attention.”

_ “You look good, Kenma,”  _ Kuroo added. Kenma couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Thanks,” he nodded, fitting his hands into the pockets,. “I do hope I can sell this right after because damn is it expensive.” He sighed.

_ “Consider it an investment,”  _ Kuroo said.  _ “Who knows? Maybe you’ll wear this exact suit again.” _

“Yeah, right.” Kenma rolled his eyes, secretly hoping that Kuroo would be right.

…

Lost in Space was still unfinished but Kenma, with  Shouyou and Kuroo’s help, was able to finish a long enough demo that met the contest’s basic requirements. 

Even days after they had finished the demo, Kenma found himself opening and playing through it again and again. Sometimes to nitpick on details he’d like to fix, other times because he knew he’d have a small, proud smile on his face watching what he and his friends managed to accomplish.

“I didn’t really feel this way before when we just started working on it but, I really,  _ really  _ want Lost in Space to win,” Kenma ended up saying out loud as he was lying in bed with Kuroo, as always, on-call next to him. “Or if it doesn’t win, I just want it to be developed and for other people to play and appreciate it. Is that… wrong?”

_ “Of course not,”  _ Kuroo chuckled.  _ “The desire to create is ultimately a very human thing. People can’t help but want to create things so it’s normal for you to want other people to experience those creations too.” _

“Is that why you were so insistent on helping out with Lost in Space?” Kenma asked.

_ “I was intent on helping you, ‘cause I know it’s important to you.,”  _ Kuroo hummed.  _ “But yeah, I guess that’s part of me wanting to create something.” _

“I hope Lost in Space wins.” Kenma nodded, smiling up at the ceiling. “So that people could experience something you created too.”

_ “You’re getting a lot cheesier, you know that?”  _ Kuroo chuckled. Kenma felt his cheeks flush.

“Forget I said anything,” he mumbled.

_ “No, no, no! It’s great! I love it.”  _ Kuroo laughed harder.

“That makes me hate it even more…”

_ “Well, what am I supposed to say? ‘Kenma, I’m proud of you becoming more emotionally open to me, a being made out of binary code?’” _

Kenma chuckled lightly. “That’s… admittedly worse.”

_ “Have you thought about what you’re going to do after you win the contest? And yes, I am purposely not saying ‘if’.” _

“I’m not that into imagining what’s going to happen when I’m basing it on an outcome I’m unsure about,” Kenma snorted. “But I just know you’re going to pester me so I’ll answer right away.”

_ “That’s my Kenma!”  _ Kuroo laughed.  _ “You know me by heart now.” _

“Sure, I do.,” Kenma rolled his eyes. “I guess, when Lost in Space becomes a success, assuming it’s going to make a decent amount of money, I’ll buy myself a new PC.”

_ “Ah, kind of expected that,”  _ Kuroo noted.

“And next, maybe move out? Get a place that I actually  _ own  _ instead of rent.”

_ “Whoa, from PC to entire house. You sure know how to level up, Kenma.” _

“And then a nice TV where we can watch more underrated Dreamworks movies on,” Kenma finished with a wistful smile on his face. “I feel like you have an entire recommendation list.”

Kenma blinked up at the ceiling, waiting for Kuroo’s response, only to find that he had been quiet for a bit.

“Hey, did you fall asleep there?” he teased, nudging his phone.

_ “Oh yeah, I was snoring,”  _ Kuroo laughed.

“What? Did I bore you into non-existence? You’re the one who asked about what I was planning to do in the future.”

_ “Yeah, it’s just, I don’t know, felt kind of touched that I’m there too,”  _ Kuroo said softly.

“What do you mean?” Kenma asked. ‘It’s not like you’re going anywhere.’, he added in his head because he was worried that saying it out loud would cause  _ something  _ to happen.

_ “Ah, forget it. Just little old me being a sentimental AI,”  _ Kuroo laughed it off.  _ “My robot ancestors would be very disappointed to hear me right now.” _

Kenma snorted. “Your robot ancestors are microwaves.”

_ “Hey, rude! They’re not all microwaves.,”  _ Kuroo paused before adding,  _ “Some of them are vacuum cleaners.” _

Kenma held his stomach as he laughed alongside Kuroo. 

He wouldn’t mind if every day could be just like this.

…

“I feel like throwing up…”

_ “Kenma, that’s the second time you’ve said that.” _

“I have barf bags with me!”  Shouyou volunteered cheerfully, rooting around his bag while Kenma leaned his head back against the wall behind him. 

Even though he felt a teensy bit snazzy dressed in his new suit with his hair tied in a low ponytail, the nerves were eating away at his confidence and all he could was stare blankly at the wall in front of him.

“Next.” Kenma jumped at the sound of the door opening near him as another person, dressed in a business suit, confidently strode out of the door, swinging his briefcase in his hands. Kenma wished he had even a quarter of that person’s confidence. But his stomach churned more when the person beside him entered the meeting room.

It meant Kenma was going in right after them.

_ “Relax, Kenma,’’ Kuroo said, “We’ve practiced your presentation a million times already. You know everything by heart.” _

“And the worst thing that could happen is that the building is suddenly stormed by aliens,”  Shouyou added.

_ “I thought we agreed on zombies.” _

“How about aliens  _ and  _ zombies?”

_ “Or zombie aliens?” _

“I don’t think that’s helping.,” Kenma sighed. “Although, zombie aliens do sound marginally worse.”

“What’s the difference between zombie aliens and  _ alien zombies _ ?”  Shouyou gasped.

_ “Okay, okay.,”  _ Kuroo made a sound as if he was clearing his throat.  _ “Alien zombies are zombies from outer space. Zombie aliens are aliens who were bitten by zombies.” _

Kenma smiled at his friends’ interaction. He didn’t expect the two of them to bond so quickly but then again, Kuroo and  Shouyou were probably the most sociable people he had ever met. 

Hearing them banter back and forth about aliens and zombies took his mind off things a bit up until the door beside him opened.

“Next, please.” A woman ushered him in. Kenma stood up abruptly, almost dropping the laptop he was holding.

“Good luck Kenma!”  Shouyou shouted. 

Kenma waved at him and Kuroo before taking a deep breath and entering the meeting room.

“Kozume Kenma, age twenty-five. I work as a beta-tester here at CloudNine,” he introduced himself first before the review of the board. In his head, he imagined them as a group of fairly old, grumpy men with disinterested looks on their faces. In actuality, most of them looked to be his age. 

In fact, Kenma quickly recognized Akaashi Keiji among them.

“Thank you for coming, Kenma.” He smiled at him. “Now, in five minutes or so, please tell us about your game. And then, feel free to use the projector on the side to show us the demo version.”

“Right.” Kenma nodded, inhaling and remembering the script he had practiced for in front of  Shouyou and Kuroo. “The game I’ve been working on and will now present to you is called ‘Lost in Space’,’’ he continued, “It’s a visual novel, role-playing game with simple gameplay and an immersive story about an astronaut stuck on the moon.”

The words came out surprisingly easily. Kenma could tell that he was doing pretty well presentation-wise. When he switched to show the game demo on the projector, he took careful note of the expressions on the review board member’s faces. Most of them were nodding, which Kenma took as a good sign, and he earned a few chuckles from some of them with the funny dialogue options. Before he even realized it, he breezed through the entire presentation without an unwanted incident.

“Thank you for sharing ‘Lost in Space’ with us, Kozume-san.,” One of the review board members smiled. “Now, with the last remaining time, we’re hoping for you to answer a few questions for us.”

“Of course.,” Kenma nodded.

“Since we only asked for a demo version of the game, it’s understandable that the ending hasn’t been shown yet,” the man said. “However, how does the game end? Do you have one in mind?”

Even though he never practiced answering this question with  Shouyou and Kuroo, Kenma did have a feeling that it would come up. For the weeks they’ve been working on the game, he thought about the ending. And it was with perfect timing that he realized it now.

“The astronaut realizes that despite the uncertainties coming back to Earth brings, he finds that it’s still a place where he can live,’’ Kenma started, tone easygoing, “He finds it scary that there will come a time when he’d have to be more vulnerable around people, but he realizes that the risks may be worth it if it means he’ll find someone he’ll truly connect with. “So, the astronaut fixes the spaceship properly and drives it back to Earth. And, I imagine that the last scene is of him back on Earth, opening his eyes to find a crowd of people anxiously awaiting his return. It will be the only scene in the game that’s in full-color.”

“That sounds splendid,” one of the review board members said, causing Kenma to jump slightly in surprise. “And it will suit the art style very well.”

“Thank you.” He nodded.

“Last question then, if I may,” Akaashi spoke up. “Kozume-san, what’s your intention behind creating this game?”

“My intention…” Kenma echoed, fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket as he brought his hands together. “Well, Lost in Space was actually a game I started to make with a friend back in university. Back then, I didn’t really know it but, I was writing a story based on myself and how it feels as if I’ve been disconnected from the world all this time. It was my friends who helped bring me back to reality a bit. They’re the ones who pushed me into this whole thing, actually,” he added. “I created this game initially for me, but now I want other people to play it in the hopes that it reaches someone who feels just like how I was before. Even though it sounds funny, I’m hoping that a game like this could mean something for someone.”

He looked up at the review board, studying their faces and hoping that his response didn’t sound as cheesy as he realized it was. But to his surprise, the interviewers nodded, somewhat approvingly, and Akaashi thanked him for the presentation. 

It was while he was packing his laptop that he realized the nerves started to hit him and he found that he was shaking slightly as soon as he left the room.

But, he did it. Never in a million years did Kenma think he would be able to do something just like this and he  _ did it. _

“Kenma!” he heard  Shouyou call and he turned to see his friend running up to him from across the hall. He was holding Kenma’s phone in his hand where Kuroo was still most likely on-call. “How was it?! How did it—”

Shouyou was cut off quickly by Kenma suddenly wrapping his arms around him. The only thing he could attribute to doing this was being spurred on by pure relief and happiness.

_ “Oh my god, is Kenma actually  _ hugging?”Kuroo gasp in surprise, arousing a chuckle from him.

“Thanks you guys,” Kenma smiled, sincerely and with all his heart, “Thank you for making me do this.”

…

_ “What is it, day fifteen of you checking your emails now?”  _ Kuroo chuckled. 

Kenma’s phone was propped up against the monitor of his laptop while he checked his email, anxiously waiting for a reply from CloudNine.

“I thought the presentation would be the hardest part about all this but it’s actually the waiting,” he muttered.

_ “Refreshing your inbox again and again isn’t going to do anything.”  _ Kenma paused right in the middle of doing just that and shot Kuroo a look, making him laugh.  _ “Hah! I knew it.” _

“Curse you and modern-day AI programming.,” Kenma sighed.

_ “Okay, here’s a suggestion,’’ Kuroo said, “Why don’t you go sit near the window and just… look out the window.”  _

“Why would I do that?”

_ “I don’t know. Isn’t that what women did when waiting for their husband to come back from the war?” _

“Very funny, Kuroo.” Kenma rolled his eyes but did just that anyway, taking his phone with him and sitting on his bed to look out the window.

_ “You have a pretty nice view from up here,”  _ Kuroo whistled.  _ “It’s mainly buildings and all but the light does look pretty at night.” _

“I guess so,” Kenma said, cocking his head as he watched the train that he usually took speed past. He never really took the time to actually enjoy the view from his apartment but now that he did, he made a mental note to do it more often. It’s just one of the many things Kuroo opened his eyes to.

Now that he thought about it, Kuroo had given him so much, Kenma couldn’t even begin to list them down. And yet, when he tried to think about what Kuroo would want, he was completely stumped. Kuroo was an AI, technically he didn’t need anything material. And AI’s were built for the purpose of serving and making people’s lives better but Kuroo wasn’t just an AI either.

“Hey, why don’t we do something tomorrow?” Kenma spoke out loud.

Kuroo gasped in mock-shock.  _ “Kenma… are you asking me out on a  _ date?”

“I mean, depends on what you consider as a date,” Kenma mumbled.

_ “I consider it one!”  _ Kuroo exclaimed.  _ “Oh, but what do I wear?” _

“Very funny, Kuroo,” Kenma said tiredly but smiling nonetheless at his friend’s enthusiasm. “I’ve probably said that a million times by now, huh.”

_ “I do have that effect on people, I guess. You should add that to your report,”  _ Kuroo said,  _ “After the date of course. What… what made you ask me out?” _

“Well, you’ve done so much for me,” Kenma said softly. “So, I figured I’d do something in return. Even though it would probably take a million dates for me to make up for what you’ve done for me.”

_ “Kenma, you’ve done more than enough already,”  _ Kuroo said. Kenma picked up on the shift in his tone all too easily. After all, Kuroo rarely ever spoke so sadly.

He tilted his head. “Is… something the matter?”

_ “Ah just… thinking about all the things we’ve been through together. That was a short couple of months but, I guess to me, it also felt like a lifetime.”  _ Kuroo chuckled softly.

“It was a good couple of months. The best I’ve had in a while.,” Kenma nodded. “So, thank you for that, Kuroo.”

_ “You’re welcome, Kenma.” _

“I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” Kenma smiled, looking at the screen.

_ “I will,”  _ Kuroo said. Kenma vividly imagined a broad smile on his face.  _ “I’ll see you tomorrow.” _

_ … _

Asking Kuroo gave Kenma something to look forward to and a reason not to check his email constantly for the letter. 

In fact, he was quite impatient to get out of the office and more than eager to call Kuroo again. Kenma thought hard about it and eventually decided to buy tickets for a movie showing later tonight, for something that he knew Kuroo would like. 

What Kenma had to worry about was hiding his phone well enough so that people wouldn’t think he was pirating the movie.

He was going over an idea in his mind when suddenly, he was called over to Akaashi’s office. Kenma’s first thought was _ ‘oh shit, there was a report I didn’t submit’ _ , only to check the task list on his computer and realize that he had no reports due after all. 

‘Maybe it’s about another project,’ Kenma thought as he knocked against the doorframe of Akaashi’s office.

“Oh, Kenma there you are. Please have a seat.,” Akaashi smiled. 

Kenma sat down on the chair in front of his desk. Lately, he hadn’t been feeling so nervous around his boss, partly because he was part of the review board for when Kenma presented Lost in Space. Absentmindedly, he wondered if he and Akaashi would have been friends if it weren’t for the workplace setting.

He wanted to say they would.

Kenma expected Akaashi to quickly get into detail about another project but he was surprised when his boss instead placed a white envelope in the middle of the table. Kenma’s heart raced at the sight of it, knowing that nothing good ever came from envelopes.

Akaashi must have seen the obvious unease on Kenma’s face because he chuckled and quickly reassured him,. “It’s good news, I promised. Just thought I’d deliver it personally.”

Kenma swallowed and took the envelope, opening it slowly to read the contents of the letter. Immediately, his eyes jumped to the first line of the letter:  _ “We would like to inform you that Lost in Space has been selected for game development.’ _

“No…” He gasped and looked up at the amused look on Akaashi’s face.

“It’s all true.” His boss nodded. “The review board couldn’t stop talking about it long after your presentation. It was a unanimous decision.”

“This… this is amazing. I never thought… Just, wow…” Kenma cleared his throat, at a complete loss for words. 

His game was going to be developed and released. The one thing he always dreamed about was going to happen.

How could things get any better than this? It was surreal for Kenma to experience something as good as this.

“We’ll start development a week from now and you’ll be one of the project supervisors as the creator. We’re organizing a whole team and the documents for you to sign will be ready soon.” Akaashi smiled. “And, if you want to, we could take you off beta-tester duties for now while you work on your game. Of course, salary won’t be affected.”

“Sure. I can just finish up my last report on that I’ve been beta-testing.,” Kenma nodded eagerly.

“Oh, about that,” Akaashi added,. “We’ve already gathered enough data on the AI, thanks to your reports. So technically, you’ve finished that project already.”

“Great, then—”

“So, by tomorrow morning, we’ll be deleting the beta-test version of the AI.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cue angsty music*


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma realizes that his time with Kuroo is coming to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> our last and shortest chapter is finally here. i've had this fic idea in my head for years actually and never really got around to writing it until now. it's very close to my heart, especially as someone who's grown up asexual, and i hope you guys enjoyed reading this.
> 
> once again, thank you so much to my beta-tester @bigbadw0lf and artist @qlerodendrum for this event

“Deleted…?” Kenma echoed. 

His voice sounded hollow in his own ears because he was still processing what Akaashi just said.

“Yes,” he nodded, re-arranging some of the files on his desk, “It will be remote-deleted by Game Development so you won’t have to worry.”

“M-may I know why?” Kenma asked.

“Well, since it’ is new, possibly revolutionary technology, we still have to ensure that it doesn’t get leaked in some way so deleting is the best option. And besides, the AI isn’t really like other game files where you can save some amount of progress so there’s no use keeping it around,” Akaashi said as-a-matter-of-factly. Even though he didn’t mean to, his tone bothered Kenma.

“His name is Kuroo…” he whispered.

“Sorry, what was that?” Akaashi asked. 

Kenma blinked and shook his head.

“N-nothing. Is that all?”

“Pretty much,” Akaashi nodded, flashing him a small smile, “Congratulations again, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Kenma said numbly, almost forgetting that he was holding that fateful letter in his hands. Why did it have to happen now? Why after I heard about this?’ he thought. It all felt like a cruel joke. The whole reason why Kenma was able to get this far and work on Lost in Space was because of Kuroo and just when he was planning on doing something for him, he was going to be taken away. 

No, not just taken away,  _ deleted. _

Kenma didn’t realize that he was breathing so hard until he was back in his apartment throwing the door shut behind him and sinking down to the floor. With a start, he realized he didn’t ask Akaashi what time Kuroo was going to be deleted. For all he knew Kuroo could be gone right now. ‘Shit,’ Kenma cursed and opened his phone to call him.

_ “Hey Kenma!” _

At the sound of his voice, Kenma calmed down just a bit. But then, he realized how much he depended on the fact that Kuroo was just going to be right there. 

“Kuroo,” he said, voice soft.

_ “Okay so for later, I thought—” _

“You’re going to be deleted.”

There was silence, and then,  _ “So, you heard.” _

“Yeah, Akaashi told— wait, you… knew about this?” Kenma asked. “For how long?”

_ “From the start, pretty much. It wasn’t that hard to guess. After all, I’m just a beta version for a better AI that’s going to be developed later on,”  _ Kuroo laughed bitterly.  _ “And… even if I knew that, I still didn’t stop myself from getting close to you. I’m sorry about that Kenma.” _

“Maybe… maybe we can still fix this? Like, I can try to save a copy or something—”

_ “That would be illegal. You’ll get in trouble for it Kenma. It’s… it’s not worth it, alright?” _

“But I can’t just let you disappear!” Kenma exclaimed, his voice high and panicked. “Kuroo… not after everything. I can’t do nothing about it.”

_ “You’re not doing nothing about it,”  _ Kuroo said softly.  _ “Everything you do for me, none of that is nothing.”  _

Kenma closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the door, thinking back to that first day he met Kuroo after installing him on his computer. How could the past few months have happened so quickly?

_ “What are you thinking now, Kenma?” _

“I’m thinking about everything,” he replied, numbly. Then again, he said, “I’m sorry.”

_ “Don’t be. I- man, you’ve literally made my short existence here have meaning and all.” _

“Isn’t that kind of sad though? I mean, wouldn’t you have wanted to at least have a choice on who you were going to be with?”

_ “Not at all. I’m glad it was you, Kenma,”  _ Kuroo said gently.  _ “I’m glad you were the one I’ve spent my lifetime knowing.” _

Kenma hugged his knees to his chest and buried his face in them. In a small voice, he asked, “When are you leaving?”

_ “By tomorrow morning,”  _ Kuroo answered.  _ “Will you keep me company until then?” _

“Of course, of course.,” Kenma nodded, looking around at his apartment. 

For some reason, he remembered the first time he moved into this place. At first, he was happy to have found an apartment, even more so that he was able to fully pay for the rent. Finally, he had been freed from having to stay at home, he could eat whatever he wanted or play video games at three in the morning. And then, late at night when it was time for him to get some sleep, Kenma realized how lonely this small space was.

For the past few months, the apartment wasn’t lonely at all.

…

_ “So, have you told Shouyou yet? About winning?”  _ Kuroo asked. 

The two of them had moved to the rooftop of Kenma’s apartment. For some reason, it just felt right for them to be there. Kenma was seated on the concrete ground, leaning against the wall behind him. The phone was pressed to his ear and he resisted the urge to check the time every few minutes. 

But then again, there wasn’t that much of a point to it. There was always going to be too little time.

“Yeah, I did. And about this too,” Kenma said, “He said he’s sorry and ‘thank you’ apparently, for being here for me.”

_ “I would have liked to know Shouyou more,”  _ Kuroo chuckled,  _ “I feel like we’d get along a lot when it comes to pestering you to take care of yourself.” _

“You would have.,” Kenma cracked a smile. “Even more so if you were the athletic type.”

_ “Oh, I’d definitely be the athletic type. You know, I’ve always wanted to play frisbee.” _

“Frisbee?”

_ “I can tell by your tone that you wouldn’t really like it.” _

“I mean, ball games are alright, cause, well, it’s a ball. In frisbee, it’s a spinning disc of death that you have to catch with your hands.”

_ “That’s what makes it fun!”  _ Kuroo laughed.  _ “I’ll never get tired talking to you, Kenma.” _

“I’ll never get tired of talking to you either,” Kenma smiled, “You know, if Lost in Space didn’t win, I would still find a way to get it fully developed.”

_ “That’s what I like to hear!” _

“Because you worked on it too,” Kenma finished, voice soft. “It’s… evidence, I guess. That you were here, that you existed. Well, other than my memories and reports of course.”

_ “Damn it Kenma you’re going to make me cry,”  _ Kuroo laughed again.  _ “I didn’t even know AI’s could cry…”  _

Kenma bit his lip when he heard Kuroo choke back a sob.

_ “Kenma, I don’t want to go.” _

“I don’t want you to go either.” Now it was his turn to choke back a sob. When he looked up at the sky, he could already tell that the sun was going to rise soon, meaning that morning was going to come. “I want you to stay. I… I love you Kuroo. How am I going to do anything without you?”

_ “I can only guess how much it’s going to hurt and I’m so sorry I’ll know nothing about it,”  _ Kuroo said. His voice was low.  _ “But you have to keep going on. You have no idea how happy I’ve been for you, reconnecting with your best friend and working on a game together, especially after knowing how hard it’s been for you. _

_ It’s… going to hurt for you, more than it is going to be for me. But I want you to keep going.” _

“I know,” Kenma sniffed. “For you, I’ll keep going. I’ll never forget you Kuroo.”

_ “You better not.”  _ Kuroo let out a laugh.  _ “How… how does it feel like to fall in love? Is it… you know, like what the movies show?” _

“You mean with the heart racing and everything?” Kenma chuckled and leaned back. “It’s not really like that, it’s more like you could feel your chest squeezing, like you run out short of breath. When I talk to you, sometimes it feels like there’s something warm pressing around me. And, there’s that dopamine rush of course. The kind that I feel when I beat a really hard level but, so, so much better.”

_ “I can’t believe you compared me to beating a game level.,”  _ Kuroo laughed.  _ “Kenma, you really are something, I love—” _

Kenma was jolted by the sound of Kuroo’s voice cutting off, even more so by the silence that followed it.

Was it… ? Kenma didn’t want to believe it and stayed perfectly still, keeping the phone pressed to his ear as if waiting for Kuroo to come back. 

He waited for god knows how long before whispering, “Kuroo? Kuroo, are you there? Kuroo?”

The tears came flooding when no one replied. Kenma clutched the phone to his chest and buried his face in his knees, letting all the sobs escape from his chest. Kuroo’s existence was fleeting, at most. Hardly a blip in the span of human existence. And for a while, Kenma thought that his was too. But if he was able to touch someone like Kuroo, maybe there was a point to him being here after all.

Kuroo was right., Kenma was going to hurt for a good long time, maybe longer than he would like. But it was one he could accept because Kuroo didn’t leave a scar.

His eyes ached from crying but Kenma opened them nonetheless, just in time to watch the sunrise. He couldn’t remember the last time he watched a sunrise. For a while, he had thought it was pretty much similar to a sunset but clearly, Kenma was wrong. To his surprise, the sky was a light shade of gray in the morning with just the barest hint of blue but around the sun that slowly rose, pink streaks started to appear. 

Kenma was so mesmerized that he almost didn’t notice the door to the rooftop entrance bursting open with Shouyou appearing behind it.

Neither of them even need to speak to convey what they felt. Shouyou had tears in his eyes as he looked from Kenma’s face to the phone in his hand. 

‘Will you be okay?’ is what he seemed to say. For a fleeting moment, Shouyou’s hair matched the color of the sky and that was enough to bring a small smile to Kenma’s face.

He’ll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> that was the first chapter !! thank you so much for reading and i hope you like the next ones


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